5/31/2012

Thou shall not judge thyself.

As I prepared my family to meet up with a friend the other day, I found myself making a list of all the faults I needed to point out.

 - My son is the dirtiest child on the planet. I can't figure out how I have three relatively clean children and one scumball. Think Pigpen from Charlie Brown.

- My daughter's clothes don't really match. 

- While we're on the topic, my other daughter has wild hair. Like crazed maniac hair.

Am I the only one who does this?

Like pointing out our faults to you makes our imperfections ok. As long as you know - that we know - we aren't perfect, life is good. 

And don't sneer at me, friend of mine who shall remain nameless because she needed to point out all the places on her carpet the dog chewed on last time I came over.

Like we care. We came to your house to see you. Not your carpet. Ok, it is kind of funny. But if you hadn't pointed it out we wouldn't have noticed.

My friends invited us to the park to play together. Not for a fashion parade. It's ok to wear not matching dirty clothes to play in the dirt. Isn't it?

Why do we do this? Is it our insecurity? Fear of others judgement?

I'd just like to take this moment to say that I am not judging you. I don't care if your house is cluttered, or if your kid didn't brush his teeth. In fact I like knowing that your life isn't perfect either.

I don't want you to feel insecure about all your faults. I want you to be real. Let's make a deal, k? I'll stop pointing out whats wrong with me, if you stop pointing out what's wrong with you. We'll both know - that the other person knows - that no one is judging anyone.

5/30/2012

(nearly) wordless wednesday

 
Jellyfish... 
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got a great photo for (nearly) wordless Wednesday to to share with us? Post a link so we can all see it!

5/29/2012

the winner is...

Hi friends!
Did anyone have as much fun as I did over the holiday? Sunshine, bbq, and sand. Good stuff.
Anyway. Enough small talk. I know.

You want the winner. I know. So here you go.

The third commenter was Cathy from Palm Breeze Living! Congratulations! I'll email you your code shortly so that you can get your prize.

I wish I had a parting gift for everyone, but I don't. So sorry.






5/25/2012

6 months in...

So yesterday I shared with you one of the lowest points in my life, our plane ride home from Russia with Max.  You know what happens when you face those low points, right? You pick yourself up with a little love and a lot of prayer. You dust yourself off, and babystep your way back to normal.

Since we brought Max home six months ago our lives have been a constant stream of babysteps leading us back to normal. From our first days together when he was so full of anxiety that all he could do was lay on the floor and cry. And I felt like I was holding him securely 24/7 so he couldn't hurt anyone or destroy anything. And I was just barely holding on to my own sanity because I got absolutely nothing accomplished besides being who Max needed me to be.

To the days in the middle, where the ugly orphanage behavior came out, and he needed to prove himself to us. He needed to be in control of the situation at all times, even though what he really needed most times was for his Mama to pull rank and make sure all members of the family felt love and respect.

To the days now, when he's finally starting to get what it means to be in a family. About how to treat the people you love. And finally we can make it through an entire day without any screaming or tears. Sometimes we get two or three in a row.

We're still playing two steps forward, one step back (okay sometimes it's ten steps back). But after six months I can look back and see where we came from. And see where we are headed. We are not going to be stuck in melt-down hell forever. He's not going to try to push all of our buttons, every minute of every day until we die. He is going to learn how to treat people with love and respect. He is going to learn how to communicate his worries and fears in a possitive manner so that we can help him work through his junk.

The sun is going to come out, the plane is going to land, and life is going to go on.



And oh hey! Today is the last day to enter our Abide in Him Wall Art giveaway. Check it. It rocks. You want to win this, I promise.

5/24/2012

Trials at 40,000 feet

Since we're passing the 6 month mark with Max, I thought it would be fun to tell you a story. Some of you have heard the story about our flight to bring Max home. For those of you who haven't, you're in for a treat.
Enjoy.

Most of you know that I have 3 other children, and have logged many thousands of miles traveling with multiple children, so I thought an eight hour plane ride with just one seven year old child was a no brainer. We got toys. We got snacks. We got in flight movies. And I was so positive that after being awake for as long as this child had been, he would surely log a good 6 hour nap.

So you know what happens when you try to fly with a 7 year old who has been in and out of orphanages his entire life, who has a very fragile relationship with his new parents, and is clearly terrified right? He didn't want any fruit snacks. Or transformers. And sleep was pretty much out of the question.
Somewhere around hour number four I started to feel like locking him in the bathroom was an excellent strategy for making it through the rest of the flight.

At that four hour mark He and I had both been awake for nearly 24 hours. He had shredded all the plastic silverware I could find. Pulled the earbuds off his in-flight headphones and insisted we go find the toilet during meal time. Twice. All the while yelling at me in a language I didn't understand. My husband? Sound asleep, completely oblivious to the cannon ball of a boy sitting between us.

At that 4 hour mark I, the seasoned mother of three, I mean four, was done. Done praying that things would get better, that the plane would blessedly crash and we could all go meet Jesus. Or that Jesus would choose that moment to come back in a blaze of glory. I was at rock bottom. Like I've never seen it before and hope to never see again.

I have never felt hopelessness like I did in those moments in seat 25D. I hope to never feel that way again. But those are the moments where God spoke to my soul. Words of strength and courage.

This is only temporary.

This trial will be over in the blink of an eye.

No dice on that blaze of glory you were hoping for earlier, but that doesn't mean I'm not here. I got your back on this one.

I'd like to say that little pep talk changed the way my new son responded to his environment, but it didn't. The second half of the flight was just as miserable as the first half. It did, however change my perspective on the situation. That was all I needed to make it safely off the plane. 

All trials are temporary. Some take hours to work through, some take decades. But they are all temporary. And before you know it, they'll be over. The plane will land, the sun will shine.
And you'll be a better you because of it.

Oh hey! don't forget about tomorrow's Abide in Him wall art giveaway. You want to win this! I promise~

5/23/2012

(nearly) wordless wednesday

blowing in the wind... 
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(don't forget to check out the giveaway we're doing this week. You can check out what I'm giving away here! It rocks my world!)

5/18/2012

Abide in Him Wall Art Giveaway!!

Yesterday I showed you the first thing Dayspring sent me for review, today you get to see the other one. I can't decide which one I like better. They're both stunning, and they totally make me smile each time I walk past them.


So here's a little about today's item
(from the website)

Abide in Him

Abide in Him is a beautiful piece of wall décor that is ideal for hanging in any room of your home!  The stylish, brown metal finish adds a nice touch to any décor. This display of faith is a wonderful reminder that God’s plans and His purposes for each of us are being fulfilled as we Abide in Him.

Product Details:
  • Size 18 ½ x 11" 
  • Metal with distressed finish
Again, the product sells itself. Beautiful, heartfelt, and oh wait. It's half priced this month. Dude.

But today is your lucky day! I've had a hard time keeping this a secret, but I have one to give away.
Yes, I do feel like Santa Claus.
So  to enter, leave me a message and tell me where you'd hang it in your house. You have all week to enter, I'll pick the winner next Friday. 
The winner does have to pay for shipping. But it's totally worth it!

I was given this wall art from the Dayspring (in)spired line of products in exchange for a review. Although I was given a free product, all opinions are all my own. This disclosure is in accordance to the FTC guidelines.

5/17/2012

(in) courage wall art: Lord bless this home

Last week I was the luckiest girl in the world. I got not one, but two items from Dayspring and (in)courage for review purpose.

Upon opening the packages I totally did a little dance in my kitchen. No lie. You can ask my children.

So here's a little about the first item they sent:



Bless This Home Wall Art

(from the website)
This beautifully designed wall art, composed of a simple prayer, makes a bold statement of faith as it brings style to your interior or exterior home  décor.  Whether making its visual, inspiring impact on an interior wall or hanging outside by the front door, it is a witness to all who read it of the heartfelt desire for God's blessings to be upon the abode you affectionately call 'home.'

Product details:
    *  Size:  20 1/2" L x 12 1/4"H
    * Hue:  Antiqued silver
    * Material: Metal, slightly textured
    * Screws for hanging included

What's to say about this item... beyond the obvious selling points - it's stunning, and it echos a prayer of my heart, and I love it.

I would buy it in a heartbeat. You should too.

I was given this wall art from the Dayspring (in)spired line of products in exchange for a review. Although I was given a free product, all opinions are all my own. This disclosure is in accordance to the FTC guidelines.

5/16/2012

(nearly) wordless wednesday

 
Rock Monster... 
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got a great photo for (nearly) wordless Wednesday to to share with us? Post a link so we can all see it!

5/15/2012

I like my kids more than I like peanut butter, and other lies I've eaten

So I totally survived my first day of back to normal eating process. The brownie and ice cream nearly did me in, but I managed to take one for the team and put it all away.

To be honest there was a bit of an emotional response to some of what I ate. My healthy-ish cereal which used to taste like cardboard suddenly tasted fantastic, and my pbj was totally awesome, I felt totally blessed to welcome both back into my life. But past that everything just seemed overkill. Soda? Yuck. Chocolate? Overrated. I'm not totally convinced I missed anything over the last 40 days.

But now that I've dipped my toe back into the waters of normal consumption I am starting to look at the old processes I used to go through when I was planning my food intake and wonder what I was thinking. It's funny how my impulses are still trying to convince me to do things I don't really want to do. Cookies for breakfast? Sounds yummy. But only a moron would really do it.
Soda with lunch? Every day? I'm still not convinced that I really like soda. Why I spent years drinking it every single day is beyond me.

I hope that you see the difference between this fast and a diet. The last 6 weeks had nothing to do with my health. I wanted to seek God fully, not lose weight. So at this point my contemplations about food consumption are really less about trying to seek a healthy balance as they are about trying to seek a Godly balance.

A balance between enjoying God's provision and not letting my impulses control me. A balance between the joy that comes from eating good food with people I love, and using food to feel better about my life circumstances.

If you want the truth, I think Satan uses food as a tool to draw our focus away from Jesus. You can call me crazy if you want to, but I totally recognize the lies about food that I've totally been swallowing for 33 years. About how I've been confusing joy found in time eating with my family for joy found in the food I'm eating.
So now when you see me with fruit in my hand instead of candy, know that I like you more than my food.

5/14/2012

The triumphant end of a 40 day fast: aka I totally did it.

bang your drum
paint the town red. (Or purple if your name is Louisa)
kick up your heels
let your hair down
live it up
throw up a stink (But don't throw up in the sink, that's just gross)

My 40 days is done. And not a moment too soon.
Throw in my kid's last day of school on Friday, and Mother's Day and it's like the perfect storm. Yes, there is a righteous party happening at this moment in the Peterson house.

So how exactly does one celebrate the end of a 40 day sugar fast? Um. Lets go with carefully. While I'd totally love to make up for lost time with a total sugar binge, I'm thinking for the sake of my stomache, that's probably not the smartest course of action.

I've been planning my welcome back menu for about 2 weeks now. My first indulgences will be  cereal, dried fruit and peanut butter. Not all at once. Yuck. The PBJ can wait until lunch. With kool-aid. Which I don't even really like. But I can drink it, so I'm going to. Maybe.

If I can stomache all that junk I have brownies and ice cream waiting for my dinner. I literally did a little dance in the ice cream row at the grocery store when I picked out my special -just for mom- flavor. You can ask my friend Michele, she was with me. I might also eat something else a little more sustaining for my dinner. Like Ramen noodles. We'll see about that. Clearly the brownies take precident.

And celebrate. Because God is so good. He brings life. Sustains hope. Nourishes, and completes.
He has provided so much. Much more than just junk food. But today, I'm particularly thankful for brownies. And every sweet morsel that enters my mouth today, and for the next few days, will be a celebration of provision and faithfulness. God is so good.

5/11/2012

Not the problem, but the solution

So how are we all doing? Can anyone say 'compassion fatigue'? Yes, I know I've thrown a lot at you this week. Frankly it makes my head spin too. When I think about the magnitude of these global issues my eyes start to glaze over. I just want to put my head under a pillow and say enough already. I can't fix it, so why bother learning about it. I ask God to break my heart for what breaks his, and when He shows me I sort of wish I hadn't asked. Life was so much easier when my world ended at the edge of my property.

But you know what? God isn't asking me to fix these problems. I'm not a savior. That's His job, not mine. He's just asking me to care. To use what I have, and to be ready to take a stand when the moment comes. And I'm pretty sure that's what he wants from you too.

Yes, fixing the world is impossible by human standards. It is quite impossible to make everybody share their toys and play nice. I can't even get my kids to do that, let alone foreign dictators. But God loves to do things that are impossible.

I can speak from experience. Have you met my son Max? If you haven't heard that story, you can get caught up with this post, and this one too. Let's just say the fact that we have no adoption related debt is totally a miracle.

Anyway. yes. These are God sized problems, and if we focus on the problems themselves we will be overwhelmed and frustrated. Instead we need to focus on the solution. God. He does want to fix the world. And He wants to use you and me to do it. But He can't use you if you don't care. So if you take anything away from this week take this: find something you care about and go after it. Extreme poverty, social injustice, disadvantaged youth, sad puppies whatever. It doesn't really matter. Just choose an issue and pick a side.

Show up. Stand up. Speak up.

Use what you have, and go from there.

5/10/2012

What irks me - the mother's day edition

With mother's day approaching I think it only fitting that we end our little segment about global issues by tackling issues related to women's health and gender discrimination. This week we've already discussed a handful of other topics that families in developing nations face on a daily basis. It's not ok that families are still struggling to feed themselves and provide clean water for drinking and sanitation, they are also at risk for HIV and other life threatening diseases.

If those issues weren't enough, we've barely scratched the surface as far as women's health and gender equality is concerned. There are so many subissues that fall under these categories that we could be here all day. So because we both have laundry to wash and noses to wipe, I'll try to give you the 10 second version.

Women's rights: across the globe gender based discrimination takes on many faces, and all of them are ugly. Women are vulnerable to job discrimination, poor health, violence, extreme poverty and limited education opportunities. As an American, I am so blessed to live in a culture where my contribution, as a mother, to society is not only acknowledged but celebrated. Sadly, I'm in the minority, globally speaking.

Here's a little secret that men in developing nations don't want you to know. Empowered women are the key to rising entire communities out of extreme poverty. An educated mother can contribute not only to her families social well being, but can improve the health and well being of her village as well. She can recognize symptoms of illnesses before they become life altering, she knows how to care for her livestock and crops, and she can empower her own children for a brighter future.

Women's health: discrimination and poor health care go hand in hand. They are playmates who like to pull hair and fight dirty. From the moment a female child is born until the moment she passes into eternity her health and well being is seen as less important than her male counterpart's.

At birth she is more likely to be abandoned if not a victim of infanticide.

During her grade school years, she's less likely to be allowed to attend school, and more likely to become a child bride. Often she is sold to the highest bidder so that her family can buy basic essentials.

As a teenager she's more likely to become a victim of HIV, and is in danger of being approached by human traffickers (don't get me started on that topic).

If she makes it through her teenage years into her child baring years she's likely to die in childbirth. Half a million women die in child birth each year. 99% of those deaths occur in developing nations, where women often don't have access to basic health care.

Yuck. No me gusta.

If women dodge every bullet in their paths, and manage to live a full life, retirement is a cruel and hopeless finish line. Elderly women in developing nations face a double edged discriminatory sword of both gender and age. Sadly relief efforts in developing areas are generally geared towards children and families, and tend to ignore the elderly.

What part of any of this is ok with you? If you have a pulse, it should be pounding with righteous indignation. Mine is. I wanna stomp my feet and shout to the wind. But frankly such poetic fury doesn't really change things. The best way to fight social injustice is to care. Care about the problem enough to educate yourself. Then educate someone else. Be willing to be a part of the conversation. And then speak up.

 Here are just a few places to start learning more about gender inequality:

Global issues - Women's rights

Amnesty international

Women at Risk International


5/09/2012

AIDS - it's not just for sinners anymore

So this week we're talking about global issues that I'm just not ok with. We've already talked about clean water, and feeding the hungry, today lets talk about AIDS

Eep.

This pandemic is one that I was much happier ignoring. There's a stigma related to it because of how it is transmitted, and a social undercurrent of people who subconsciously think of it the "sinner's disease". As a Christian, it's easy to judge the suffering and turn a blind eye, until you realize the devastating effects of this disease, particularly on families in sub-saharan Africa, where 2/3 of all HIV infected patients live.

The reality of the situation is that in many villages fathers are bringing it home and infecting their wives, who inturn pass it on to the children through childbirth. Fast forward a few years, and a disease that should be both preventable and nonlife threatening has killed both parents. The children are left to fend for themselves or taken to an orphanage, and the village has lost two more intelligent, productive members of it's dwindling labor force.

Talk about adding insult to injury.

The good news is that the crisis is on the downswing due to global relief agencies such as World Vision and One that are working tirelessly to distribute proper medications, and educate at risk families. Unfortunately many women are still at risk due to local social guidelines that discriminate against womens rights. For instance in some places it is against the law for a wife to be tested without her husband's permission.  Also, if he has it and she does not, she may not be permitted to protect herself.

Yeah, that's not ok. In fact I kind of hate it.

I can't help but put myself in their shoes. Watching my neighbors die, knowing that the life saving antiretroviral medication they need costs next to nothing (by American standards). And that wealthy "christians" around the world are choosing to not lend a hand because they don't want to dirty their hands by helping "sinners".

I want my hands to be dirty. I want to reach in and grab the problem by the throat and shake it like a rag doll. I want to look my fellow mothers in the eye and offer them peace and joy. I might not be able to fix all the problems in the world, but I can care. And so can you.

One is a fantastic tool to learn more about this pandemic and other global issues. It offers a variety of practical ways to get involved from reading the most up to date foreign policy information to signing petitions. 

5/08/2012

Today's mutiny against status quo - hunger

Yeah, I'm just getting started with my list of things I'm not ok with on our planet. Yesterday was clean water for drinking and sanitation, today is food.

There are starving people all over the planet. From western Africa to our local community here in Ohio. It's easy to have compassion and reach out to people in your own community through local food banks and family services. Which we have done and will continue to do in the future.

But if you take a step back and look at the problem from a global perspective the reality of the situation looks a lot nastier. The problem looks less like a nutcase who uses food stamps so she can afford an iphone, and more like desperate families who can't provide for themselves because of drought, famine, and war. Families who, in some cases are spending 70% of their income on food.

As I write this he countries of Niger, Mauritania, Mali, Chad, and Senegal in Western Africa are facing a rise in the cost of food, and a drought. This nasty combination has placed millions in need of immediate assisstance. With pregnant mothers and children under five being the most vulnerable to starvation. The situation is made more fun and special by wars and violence through out the region.

So, here we have hungry mommies and babies, who are afraid to leave home to get water not only for their crops, but also drinking and sanitation. And no rain. And no Walmart.

I am not ok with that.

While there's not much we can do about the rain situation, World Vision has responded with not only nutritional education and assistance for young children, seed distribution and livestock assistance, but they are right there in the political realm with national and local leadership in these countries as well as the UN.

But we all know that we, as global citizens, have the privilege and obligation to stand up and say that it is not ok for hungry mommies to not be able to provide for their families. Tweet it, post it, email your congressmen.

Again, I'm not asking you for a handout on their behalf. I'm just asking you to use what you have to say enough is enough.

5/07/2012

This is so not ok with me.

So over the last month I've mentioned a few times that God has a lot to  show me about the planet I live on, but I haven't really gone into specifics about what I've learned. Mostly because I didn't want to sound like a cry-baby bleeding heart about problems I can't fix. But just because I can't fix them doesn't mean that I should do nothing. I can't know about these problems and shrug my shoulders any longer.

Since this is the final week of my crazy sugar-free project, I thought it was probably time to bring you all up to speed on a couple little things about planet Earth that just aren't ok in  my book.

Today's problem is one that makes my blood boil. The water crisis. It should be common knowledge that not all communities on earth have access to clean water for drinking and sanitation purposes. If you've looked past the end of your own nose for more than 2 seconds you may have noticed that 884 million people live without access to clean water, and many of those people spend hours each day collecting and carrying polluted water several miles. The majority of the people carrying the water are women and children. 

I think I knew that all along, but the impact of it never really settled in.

The reality of the situation is that every day 200 million work hours are devoted to carrying water. Today, millions of moms who are just like me will not care for their families, generate an income, or working to improve their standard of living, because they have to make another trip back to the water hole. Water is life, and if they don't go, they will die.

And that's not ok.

How many children will die today because of polluted water related disease and lack of basic sanitation?
How many intelligent students will not go to school because they have to carry water instead?

As a mom and an educator, both of those questions make me shudder.

Clean water for every person on the planet is attainable and affordable. Water.org gives has so much information about the problem, and real ways to get involved. 

I'm not asking you to donate a ton of money towards the cause.

I just want you to be not ok with it either.

5/04/2012

Day 31: Jesus loves a party animal.

So I've been reading a book about long term fasting titled A Place at the Table 40 Days of Solidarity with the Poor, and in the book it discusses the concept of a weekly feast. As in, putting the fast aside for a full day to eat, drink and be merry and all that good stuff.

A whole day? Eat whatever I want? That's totally cheating. and so completely wrong in every way possible. While I do love the idea of a solid Jesus lovin' party, I'm much happier pretending that cereal, jelly and dried fruit no longer exist.

So what does my feast look like? Each week I've had 1 meal in a restaurant (ok this week I ate out twice - don't judge). During my special eating out session I can eat whatever I want with a glass of soda. No quizzing the waitress about ingredients, just sort of assuming that every item on the menu probably has sugar lurking in there somewhere. And since there's not much I can do about the food, I might as well just go for the pepsi while I'm at it. But for the sake of integrity I draw the line at deserts and after dinner mints.

I'm such a rebel. I know.

Also (I wish I would have figured this out sooner) but feast days are designed not only to allow you to celebrate the abundant food choices God has provided, but also to remind you to enjoy everything else that God has provided. It's making a special effort to enjoy family, friends, love and laughter, and all things fun in general. It's about taking the kids to the park just for fun, or calling one of my amigos on the phone for no real reason at all.

This week my something fun was a date with my poor neglected camera. I don't want to talk about how long it's been since I picked it up. But here you go, a feast for your eyes to celebrate my feast
 day. 






5/02/2012

(nearly) wordless wednesday

I've got my eye on you... 
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got a great photo for (nearly) wordless Wednesday to to share with us? Post a link so we can all see it!

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