6/28/2012

Signed: Your biggest fan. Aka Mom.

Dear Max

Lets just say you aren't Michael Phelps. You are not a fast swimmer, nor are you a good technical swimmer. The fact that you didn't have access to a place to swim until 7 months ago might have something to do with that.

Yesterday you had your first swim meet. You didn't win the only heat you swam, you didn't even place in the top five. Even though you were up against children who were probably much younger than you. I'm not totally convinced you recognized that you were trying to beat those other kids to the other side of the pool.

But you know what? You swam all the way across the pool without stopping. And you did it in super deep water that you thought was very scary.

And for those two reasons I am so beyond psyched for you. I'm psyched that you learned something new, and put it to use. I love that you completed a task you never would have attempted if it hadn't been for the popsicle the coach had waiting for you. And I'm psyched that you faced your fears and didn't back down. Mostly, I'm psyched for you because that's just what moms are for.

That crazy screaming lady who's cheering her little heart out for the little kid that's limping slowly across the pool? Yep, that's totally me. To me, it matters not what place you finished, nor do I particularly care about whether your had good form or not. You didn't let your disadvantages stop you, and thats what counts.

So proud of you little dude.
love,
your biggest fan. Aka Mom.

6/27/2012

7 months in

So last month I was all about how far we've come with little Max.

This month I'd just like to eat my words.

With this little guy it's all about transition. I used to roll my eyes at people who were nervous about how well their child would transition through different activities and phases of life. But now I totally get it.

His sisters are gone (for now) and his schedule is wonky, which means that he's a hot mess. Without the girls around he can't figure out who to play with, so he's whining and following Alex and I around because he can't entertain himself. And his food insecurities are resurfacing, so he's constantly asking for more food, and then not eating the food we give him, unless it's junk food.

Not to mention that he's tired and cranky because we messed with his sleep schedule and he can't acclimate.

Yeah. He's been a fun kid to have around this month.

Insert eye roll here.

But it's been an incredible time of growth as well. With the introduction of organized sports he's learning how to take direction from someone other than mom, and step outside his comfort zone.

He's also been attending safety town or "fire engine class" as he calls it. Now that might not sound terribly impressive until you remember that the Russian police have a tendency towards corruption. For 7 years he was taught to fear the police. Now all of a sudden the police are the good guys. Talk about a major shift in perspective. But he's totally eating up every second of it. We're so thrilled that he's made the transition to the new mentality seemlessly.

6/19/2012

Waiting for water

Tap tap... Is this thing on? Is anyone even out there? Its been a few days, and while I'd like to make some excuse about weird schedules or unruly children, the truth is I've been in a funk. A dry as sandpaper on a hot summer day funk. I sit down to write and I've got nothing. Not a darned thing to say. And I get to the point where I stop sitting down to write, because there is seriously nothing to say and I'm tired of looking at a blank page. Waiting for someone to turn on the spigot, so the words can fall like little droplets that bring life and beauty to everything they touch. And I wonder. Have I done something wrong? Offended the One who brings the words? Why does my waterfall work only on some days and not on others? I showed up. I turned on the spigot. I did everything i needed to do, so why is nothing happening? I go through the same phases with my faith. Don't you? Please say yes. Please tell me that I am not the only one who feels like I pick up the phone to start a conversation with Jesus and all I get is crickets. Chirp chirp. It's like nobody's home, but I know that can't be true. And all I can do is hit redial and hope the next time someone picks up the phone. I think that's the point. Keep hitting that redial button. Keep trying. Perservere. Your creative juices will start flowing, and Jesus will pick up the phone. And you'll have an excuse to rejoice when it finally happens. Doesn't water taste better when you're thirsty? Food taste better when you are hungry? If God never gave you the opportunity to be parched, then He'd never have the opportunity to fill you up, now would He? So here I am, still waiting for something interesting to tell you, anticipating the flood that will surely come. What are you anticipating? Let's wait together. I'll bring the snacks, you bring the movie. It'll be like a party. Waiting is always more fun with friends. Oh never mind.

6/08/2012

It's not about me. But it totally is.

I have a confession.
I have a secret agenda that I don't really want to tell anyone about. I try not to let it control me, but it totally does. The things I do, the things I say. They all reflect my secret agenda I don't want you to know about.

So what is it? Draw attention to myself and make you like me.

Hey let me do this thing that I think is really Holy and I can claim is for Jesus, but really my poor little heart just wants to take all the credit for what I've just done. I may or may not go out of my way to announce to my accomplishment to the world, but you can bet I'm totally looking around to see if anyone noticed. And yes I will accept your feedback about how awesome I was.

I can see Jesus up in heaven rolling his eyes at me. Silly, silly girl.

So the question for today is what does life without this secret agenda look like? What does it really look like to live my life for Jesus, taking none of the credit for myself. Is it even possible to get through a single hour or one task with out the incredibly narcisitic desire to make what ever I'm doing be about me instead of Jesus.

I'm thinking not really. This sad, pathetic little heart of mine just isn't that good. But today I'm going to try. Sweet Jesus am I going to need some grace today.

6/06/2012

(nearly) wordless wednesday

 
Sister love... 
......................................................................
got a great photo for (nearly) wordless Wednesday to to share with us? Post a link so we can all see it!

6/05/2012

Be someone else's sunshine.

My dear sweet daughters,
Today I am sending you off to the great wide world. It feels a little like I'm sending you off to college. But you're 8. It's too early for that. You, my darlings are headed out to New Mexico to love on Grandma Peterson for an entire summer. She is a little lonely after Papa passed away, and you are getting picked on by a brother who doesn't really understand how to form positive relationships with females. So it's a win - win situation for everyone.

Everyone but me. You two are my little lights and you make my world so much brighter. You have no idea how much I like having you here with me all the time. I rather enjoy not having to sharing you with the rest of the world. But I also know that keeping you here when you're needed elsewhere is selfish. The rest of the world needs to see your little light too.

And so I send you, with extra batteries, to be a flashlight. To light up someone else's world. Not forever, but for now. 




Go and spread your love and sunshine, your giggles and hugs, and the goofy songs that you make up to make people laugh. Go be your incredible little selves, but remember who you belong to.
You are mine, and I'm not sharing you forever.
Not yet at least.
Love and hugs,
Mom

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