11/28/2012

Creativity for a cause

I recently published an article in Rhythm of the Home titled "How to promote creativity in children". If that article helped you find this blog, welcome, it's so nice to meet you.

While it's true that I am passionate about instilling a love of all things creative in children, I'm even more passionate about teaching children to use their creative pursuits to make the world a better place. Most kids come with a dynamic little package of natural creativity, love, acceptance, and generosity. We, as parents and community leaders, need to capture that energy and run with it.

We need to learn to focus our children's creative efforts outward, not inward. We need to stop thinking in terms of having our children make "Sunday school crafts" or things that they make on Sunday mornings and are thrown away on Sunday evenings, and instead lets turn our energy towards coordinating "creative outreach events".

What exactly would it look like if your child's creativity sessions yeilded more than just a pile of papers to hang on the fridge for a few days before rotating it out for the next project. What if they made their creations as a way to encourage others in their community? Stick with me here, I'm thinking more than just telling them to make something for Grandma and Teacher.

Don't get m wrong, we love Grandma's, we love teachers and principals, they all need to be encouraged. But lets not stop with people we know. Lets take a real look at the big picture and see who really needs the love and encouragement that our children have to offer. What if they took it upon themselves to make something creative to encourage the elderly in the nursing home, or people serving in the military? Do homeless people in your community need a reason to smile? What about those ladies at the battered women's shelter?

In addition to the boxes of stuff we've taken over to the senior center, I personally have had my girls help me make fleece tie blankets for foster kids and battered women. And all of my kids (and my mother-in-law) have helped me make hats and mittens for people living in Pakistan. The sky is the limit as to what your children can create, and the joy that they can bring.

The list of hurting people on our planet far outweighs the tonage of goofy art projects (I mean wonderful acts of creativity) your child will ever be able to make. Look around and identify groups in your community that need what your child has to make. Make some phone calls.

Go forth and create change.

Have ideas for creative change to share? Post a link so we can see how your child's creative expression has changed someone's day.

11/27/2012

Homecoming day

So friends, I mentioned yesterday that we've recently celebrated an important milestone in our family. One year as a family of six. One crazy, wild year full of growth and setback, of beauty and pain, of imperfect progress.

As with most adoptive families, we struggled with how to celebrate this milestone in our lives. It's a delicate balance between celebrating the progress we've made in the last year, while not bringing up his painful history. For our family the celebration was fairly subdued. He really does better with lots of small celebrations than with one great big bash. So we spent lots of time with family and friends, we reflected on those first few weeks that were rather horrible, the flight from hell, and how far we've all come in the last year. There has been precious growth in all six of us as we've realized just what it means to love a wounded soul.

Maybe someday he'll be ready to look back at his former self and see his own growth, and maybe he won't, but for now we'll just briefly mention the importance of the day, and celebrate for him. We invite you to celebrate with us, as we all know just how hard he's worked to become who he is, and how hard he continues to work on his journey to become whole and healed.

11/26/2012

A letter to my freaked out old self.

 hihiIn honor of the anniversary of our homecoming with little Max, I thought I'd write a letter to myself full of information that I wish I'd had a year ago. If I ever figure out how to travel in time, I'll go back and deliver this to myself. Then I'll go pet the dinosaurs.

K. Here goes.

Dear new Mama to Max,
Welcome to the crazy family of people who have adopted a wounded child! It's a unique brotherhood full of other families who won't judge you when your child comes to church without any shoes on, and doesn't believe you when you pretend everything is a-ok. We are a tight family, and we watch out for each other. We'rere so thrilled you've joined us on this crazy ride.

So since you know nothing about this new kid, let me just pass along a few pieces of advice that will change the way you interact with him. First off, your son has an attachment disorder. It affects nearly every social interaction he has, his learning, his behavior, pretty much every waking moment of his life echoes the fact that no one held him as an infant. Don't assume you can treat him like a normal kid, because it'll end in disaster every time.

When your kid freaks out for no real reason, put him in the shower and let him stay there for an hour or two. Or, drop everything and carry him around like a collicky baby for a while. He likes to walk up and down the hall, or swung around like an airplane. Forget the gym. Just carry your seven year old infant around for a while. Works every time.

Don't freak out about the fact that his math skills are that of a three year old. He will realize there is a pattern to counting, and will eventually figure out that 13 always comes before 14. It will take an entire year for this to come together, but it'll come. Don't bother with subtraction, you'll still be working on that when he's twenty. Oh, and he learns wayyyy better snuggled up with you on the couch than he ever did sitting at the table. It's that whole attachment thing. It really does affect everything.

And when you're sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, holding Max in that secure position he hates because you're afraid he's about to cause permanent damage to someone or something, remember that this little boy is a gift. God brought him into your life to show you just how much you judge other parents with ornery kids. He's here to show you really don't know everything about parenting, in fact you don't know a darned thing. Max wants to teach you that love is a choice, and that you can command respect without turning into a screaming banshee. He's going to turn you into a better person, but it's going to be a long and difficult process. Because you, my friend, are sort of a train wreck yourself, and you don't even realize it. You need your new son to point out your flaws, so you can become more like Christ.

Best of luck!
Signed,
The Mama who knows Max a little better

11/15/2012

Book Review: Escape to the Hiding Place

Today we wrap up a 3 days series on The Adventures in Odyssey Imagination Station books. First we read about Ancient Egypt in ... then we read about adventures at sea in Battle for Cannibal Island. Today we are wrapping up with Escape to the Hiding Place.
In book 9 of the series, Patrick and his cousin Beth travel back to the 1940's and a very troubled Dutch community on the verge of World War 2. The duo needs courage to reunite a mother and baby who have been separated.

Mom says: I've probably mentioned this before, but I really love how these books introduce my children to real life Holy heroes that have impacted history. I loved that the characters met up with one of my favorite heroes Corrie TenBoom in this book. This book also served as a great introduction to a sensitive time in history. Loved it.

Annie (8 years old) says: This book is really exciting. I'm glad that no one was hurt in the crash at the beginning of the book. I liked the part about the places to hide. I'm glad Patrick and Beth made a friend, and that they had bicycles to ride in the frightening part.

Louisa (8 years old) says: I liked the secret hiding place and the nice farmers. You should read this book because it is funny and exciting.

11/14/2012

Book review: Battle for Cannibal Island

So yesterday we talked about The Secret of the Prince's Tomb, the seventh book in the AOI Imagination Station series. Today we're excited to tell you about book 8, Battle for Cannibal Island
In this story, Patrick and Beth set sail to the south seas where pirates, cannibals and other dangers lurk around every corner. They find themselves in 1852 off the shore of Fiji where the members of the HMS Calliope are stuck in the middle of a battle between the Christian Fijians and the non-Christian Fijians. Along with their new friend James Calvert, the missionary, they try to make peace on the island and learn important lessons living their lives as Jesus would.

Mom says: So when these books arrived at my door, both of my girls squealed with glee and took off for a cozy reading nook. That should give you some indication of the quality of these books. Every single one of them has been a joy to read, and this one was no exception. Two big thumbs up.

Annie (8 years old) says: I liked the idea of them being on a boat. I'm glad no one was eaten by a shark or thrown overboard. 

Louisa (8 years old) says: I thought it was very exciting! There were some really good bad guys in this story, and some funny people too. I'm glad everyone was safe at the end of the book. I thought it was interesting that the cannibals thought the turtle shells were so valuable. 

Please Note: We received this book for review purposes. As always, our opinions are 100% our own

11/13/2012

Book Review - Secret of the Prince's Tomb

Last year we were so stinking lucky to receive the first six books in Adventure in Odyssey's Imagination Station series. We were rather sad when we got to the end of them. So you can imagine how thrilled we were a few weeks ago when the publishing company offered to help us catch up on the series by sending us the 3 books that have come out this year.

The first book we read, was The Secret of the Prince's Tomb. In the story Patrick and Beth travel back in time through Mr. Whittaker's Imagination Station to visit Ancient Egypt. After making friends with a young girl named Tabitha it becomes evident that her people are headed for a troubled future full of slavery and corrupt leadership. The cousins quickly realize that the best way they can help these troubled people is by reminding them of their rich history and give them a hope for the future.

Mom says: Can I tell you how much I love the fact that they wrote an entire story about ancient Egypt without rehashing the overdone pyramids and pharoh bit? Love, love, love the fact that they went for a less obvious route and knocked it out of the park.

Annie (8 years old) says: I didn't like it as much as I liked the others I'd read before but did like the part where Tabitha hid in the pot. The prince was funny too. Overall I thought it was pretty good.

Louisa (8 years old) says: I like all of the books in the series. I especially like the part in this book where they trick to guard in the pyramid. The end was really funny. I liked the illustrations too.

Here's what we thought about the other books in this series... 

Please Note: We received this book for review purposes. As always, our opinions are 100% our own

11/08/2012

The truth about adoption part 2

So yesterday we talked a little about what adoption really is, today just for kicks we're going to examine the other side of the coin, what adoption is not...

 A hallmark movie. Nor is it a campbells soup comercial. You don't turn a broken child into a healthy well adjusted member of society in less than 2 hours. And tomato soup doesn't fix everything. In fact it doesn't fix nearly as much as chocolate does. Trust me.

It is not bringing a child into your house and expecting them to sit at your feet with their hands folded singing your praises because you are an awesome person for saving them from certain death. It's not even them singing your praises while they run rampant around your house destroying everything in sight. It's mostly that last part without them shouting insults instead of singing. Not so much on the singing.

So there you go. The truth about adoption. Is it hard? Yes. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. But adopting Max has changed his life, our lives, the lives of our friends and family, and frankly anyone who is following our adventure. I don't know how you could hear the story that God has written for
this little boy and not have faith. How you could ignore God's miraculous redemptive hand in his life, and the countless real life illustrations of faith, love and grace that surround him.


With those thoughts in mind, I have to ask... how could we not have spoken for this child? how can we not continue to fight for one of God's chosen? And how can we continue to ignore those children across our nation and planet that are still waiting for someone who will fight for them.


11/07/2012

The truth about adoption

It's not a secret. We adopted a "special" kid. Our little Max has all sorts of delays and baggage associated with the neglect and abuse he suffered before he joined our family.  Not all kids who are adopted are as broken as ours is, but most have a significant amount of brokenness boiling just below the surface. It doesn't really matter if they were neglected and abused for seven years, or if the abuse happened while they were still in utero. Nor does it doesn't matter if the abuse happened in Russia, or in New York, it inflicted the same pain. All adopted kids have scars that lead to a certain degree of "specialness".

So with that in mind, in honor of November being Adoption Awareness month, I'd just like to tell you the truth about what adoption really is, and later on this week we'll talk about what it is not.

Adoption is:

Recognizing that the world doesn't really revolve around you, even if you really really want it to.

Realizing that love is a choice. A choice that must be made every single day. Whether your child is spitting on you or not.

Trusting, trusting, trusting.

Learning how to make friends with other parents who can't control their children either, instead of jumping to the conclusion that they are obviously just bad parents.

Taking a life that was so badly broken that it had no chance for a future, and giving it wings.

Rejoicing over the stupidest little victories because you know that every single  one is one that would not have happened if you hadn't stepped up to the plate. - Like the time my 8 year old finally counted to 20. Even though we practiced it every day for 10 months. And he got it mixed up every single day. And I"m looking at my other 8 year twin daughters who could count to 20 when they were four, and making darned well sure they know what their brother just accomplished. And I'm calling all my friends so they can celebrate with us. Because frankly, it IS a big deal that my baby can count to 20. And all the adoptive mom's are out there totally nodding their heads, because they all know.

It is a spiritual battle. It is reclaiming a soul from Satan's hand, knowing that he doesn't give up easily. Knowing that he will constantly remind them of their past, and feed them horrible lies about how meaningless their lives are. All. The. Time. 

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