Identity crisis

Today my very like minded friend Abby agreed to share a few words about life as she sees it. Love her. Love her words. Enjoy!

I, like most of the readers here, have been following the story of Max and his adoption pretty closely. I had the opportunity of meeting the little guy when he first visited the United States with journey's of joy. I started praying then for the Lord to make him a Peterson and the Lord spoke back very plainly into my heart: He already is.

Those words sprang to mind as I was stalking Elissa's facebook page while she was in Russia waiting on the Judge to deliver Max to her, and most recently when I saw this as her Facebook update: "Max bragging to his sister: Mom thinks I'm special!" It seems like maybe Max is beginning to believe the words spoken to a stranger brushing her teeth in her parents house. "That boy is already a Peterson." Of course his mother thinks he is special. He is hers.He always has been.

I don't think that Max is the only one who is having a hard time believing that he is loved, that he is special. I think we all do. I know I do. What is it about us, that makes it so hard to believe what is true about us? What has always  been true about us. Why do we not see what we really are?

It is a funny thing, truth. It can be there, plain as day, waiting for us, but it will not change us until we believe it. My two-year-old is able to get up and down from the booster seat at the table. She does it about fifty percent of the time. The other fifty percent of the time she asks me for my help. When I remind her that she can in fact do that by herself like a big girl, she tells me she can’t, and in that moment she is right. She can’t because she won’t believe that she can.

I have two kids in diapers, a full time job that I love as a high school English teacher and a husband in PhD school. My plate is full in this season of my life, and yet now is when I felt the Lord call on my heart to write. Now is when he is telling me I am a writer, to finish that book I started a long time ago and figure out how to write a book proposal.

I have as many excuses as to how this isn’t true as I do papers to grade and diapers to change. I don’t have enough followers on the blog. I don’t have the time to write. I don’t write as boldly as one or as eloquently as another. There is someone else to tell this story, someone more qualified. Surely Lord, what you are saying isn’t true. But deep in my heart these things He is telling me about who I am and what I am called to pull on something I didn’t even know was there. Something dormant comes alive. Our hearts know the sound of truth, even when it takes a while to believe.

Today, I want to remind you of the truth: You are special. You are the Lords. You are uniquely qualified to raise the children He has given you, work the job you are in, live the life you are living right now. God knows what dreams He has called you to,  how He has created you to be. The truth is waiting for you to believe what your heart already knows.

Tell me, what truths are you having a hard time believing about yourself? What does God’s word say that you don’t always believe? I can’t be the only one who occasionally looks in the mirror and thinks beautifully and wonderfully made is stretching it!

Abby lives and loves in the city of Atlanta. She has two hilarious children and a husband that doubles as her copy editor and biggest fan. If two in diapers and a full time job teaching English at a local high school don’t keep her busy, you can find her blogging at accidental devotional

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