I, like most of the
readers here, have been following the story of Max and his adoption pretty
closely. I had the opportunity of meeting the little guy when he first visited
the United States with journey's of joy. I started praying then for the Lord to
make him a Peterson and the Lord spoke back very plainly into my heart: He
already is.
Those words sprang to mind as I was stalking
Elissa's facebook page while she was in Russia waiting on the Judge to deliver
Max to her, and most recently when I saw this as her Facebook update: "Max
bragging to his sister: Mom thinks I'm special!" It seems like maybe Max
is beginning to believe the words spoken to a stranger brushing her teeth in
her parents house. "That boy is already a Peterson." Of course his
mother thinks he is special. He is hers.He always has been.
I don't think that Max is the only one who is
having a hard time believing that he is loved, that he is special. I think we
all do. I know I do. What is it about us, that makes it so hard to believe what
is true about us? What has always been true about us. Why do we not see what we
really are?
It is a funny thing, truth. It can be there,
plain as day, waiting for us, but it will not change us until we believe it. My
two-year-old is able to get up and down from the booster seat at the table. She
does it about fifty percent of the time. The other fifty percent of the time
she asks me for my help. When I remind her that she can in fact do that by
herself like a big girl, she tells me she can’t, and in that moment she is
right. She can’t because she won’t believe that she can.
I have two kids in diapers, a full time job
that I love as a high school English teacher and a husband in PhD school. My
plate is full in this season of my life, and yet now is when I felt the Lord
call on my heart to write. Now is when he is telling me I am a writer, to
finish that book I started a long time ago and figure out how to write a book
proposal.
I have as many excuses as to how this isn’t
true as I do papers to grade and diapers to change. I don’t have enough
followers on the blog. I don’t have the time to write. I don’t write as boldly
as one or as eloquently as another. There is someone else to tell this story,
someone more qualified. Surely Lord, what you are saying isn’t true. But deep
in my heart these things He is telling me about who I am and what I am called
to pull on something I didn’t even know was there. Something dormant comes
alive. Our hearts know the sound of truth, even when it takes a while to
believe.
Today, I want to remind you of the truth: You
are special. You are the Lords. You are uniquely qualified to raise the
children He has given you, work the job you are in, live the life you are
living right now. God knows what dreams He has called you to, how He has created you to be. The truth is
waiting for you to believe what your heart already knows.
Tell me,
what truths are you having a hard time believing about yourself? What does God’s
word say that you don’t always believe? I can’t be the only one who
occasionally looks in the mirror and thinks beautifully and wonderfully made is
stretching it!
Abby lives and loves in the city of Atlanta.
She has two hilarious children and a husband that doubles as her copy editor
and biggest fan. If two in diapers and a full time job teaching English at a
local high school don’t keep her busy, you can find her blogging at accidental devotional
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