So much more real.

Warning. I just took a trip. Now you as my loyal subjects must read about it, and look at the cute pictures of my adorable children frolicking around Chicago

(which includes the pictures of my daughter’s bestie, Livie, who legally is not my child, but I’m claiming her anyway. Cause that’s just how I roll.)

First of all, my thank yous:

To the hotel cleaning lady who didn’t speak English. Thank you for muttering your comments about my messy children and traveling companions in your native language, far away from our listening ears. We totally deserved them. We know. You rock.

To the homeless bums who targeted us on the streets with endless requests for handouts. Thank you for thinking I’m a compassionate mark because I’m traveling with kids and carrying bags from the expensive stores I just spent too much money in. We appreciate the life lessons you provided for our children. Kids, this is what happens if you don’t study for your spelling tests. Don’t be homeless.

To all the yummy restaurants we ate at. Thank you for being so far away from our hotel and forcing us to take those excruciatingly long walks back before we collapsed into our food comas. Therefore erasing all the calories we just ate. Everyone knows vacation calories don’t count.

Just for the record, receipts don’t count either. What happens on vacation stays on vacation. Just sayin.

 

Most of all, to all the weirdos who roam the public streets, to all the icky pigeons and sea gulls (who are clearly rats with wings), and to all the people, sights, and smells that are just plain different than my daughters are used to, thank you for opening my daughters to the reality that this world really is much bigger than they think it is, and for pushing them a bit out of their comfort zone. Thank you for making our vacation so much more real.

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