So this fall all three of my children have entered into the
world of essay writing. You would think I’d be thrilled that their writing
skills have developed to the point where they can string lovely words together
into happy little sentences that all work together around a coherent theme.
But not so much.
These writing assignments are killing me. 5 paragraphs, each
with a topic sentence and supporting details, thesis statements and conclusion
paragraphs.
Technically correct and boring as all get out.
Who wants to write like that? More importantly who wants to
read such lifeless crap?
Who wants to BS their way through stupid essay questions
that don’t ignite passion? What moron wants to pursue topics that don’t allow
them the joy of stringing words together into fiery sentences?
Not me. But such is the life of a writer.
So as we cross this threshold into a brave new world of the
realities of the writer’s life, we tip our hats to those who fight hard to suck
all the joy out of writing.
And then we acknowledge that there’s more than one way to
write a paragraph.
You have the boring way that will get you an A on your
assignment. And then the spit and fire way that will make you want to get up
and dance. But will probably earn you a C- on your assignment.
We acknowledge that teachers probably won’t appreciate it,
but its way more fun to write with snark. With a bit of piss and vinegar. With
sentences that. Aren’t. Really. Sentences.
And frankly it’s way more fun to read essays that would
probably earn you a C- anyway.
So there.
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