So this fall all three of my children have entered into the world of essay writing. You would think I’d be thrilled that their writing skills have developed to the point where they can string lovely words together into happy little sentences that all work together around a coherent theme.
But not so much.
These writing assignments are killing me. 5 paragraphs, each with a topic sentence and supporting details, thesis statements and conclusion paragraphs.
Technically correct and boring as all get out.
Who wants to write like that? More importantly who wants to read such lifeless crap?
Who wants to BS their way through stupid essay questions that don’t ignite passion? What moron wants to pursue topics that don’t allow them the joy of stringing words together into fiery sentences?
Not me. But such is the life of a writer.
So as we cross this threshold into a brave new world of the realities of the writer’s life, we tip our hats to those who fight hard to suck all the joy out of writing.
And then we acknowledge that there’s more than one way to write a paragraph.
You have the boring way that will get you an A on your assignment. And then the spit and fire way that will make you want to get up and dance. But will probably earn you a C- on your assignment.
We acknowledge that teachers probably won’t appreciate it, but its way more fun to write with snark. With a bit of piss and vinegar. With sentences that. Aren’t. Really. Sentences.
And frankly it’s way more fun to read essays that would probably earn you a C- anyway.