8/09/2010

going forward

Little Max has gone back to Russia, he left a week ago today. As I was preparing to have him here, I had two main goals: 1) Introduce him to all sorts of "new" concepts - such as bath tub toys, and watch him learn about "normal" American culture, 2) introduce him to all my wealthy American friends and find the right family to adopt him. I was not prepared for lessons on the universal concepts of love, relationships, and little boy humor. I was not prepared for how difficult it was to send him back to Russia. I honestly felt like I was condemning one of my own children to life in a dirty frozen jail cell.
So in the beginning, I was convinced that there was no way I had the time/energy/money/stamina to deal with a 4th child. I had every excuse in the book. Before he left, I was convicted about how selfish all my excuses were. Yes, my house is small, but it's way better than an orphanage 100 miles from the arctic circle. No, I don't have a lot of money but I do have a lot of love, and that's all he really wants anyway. I already have 2 six year old children, I don't really need a third - why not? he has built in playmates... The truth is this little guy is perfect for our family, he already has a lot of our interests and personality quirks built in. In the end, I realized I didn't want another family to adopt him. So crazy or not, we're going forward.
Adopting from Russia is a long, expensive, headache. We know several families who are already in the process (and a few more who are just starting the process like we are). We thought that going through the process with friends would make the ordeal slightly more enjoyable. Plus we're all adopting from the same orphanage, so our kids will all know each other. Instant community.
The down side of our decision is that we need $35,000 to complete the adoption- which we don't have. But we have several ideas about how to raise money, and we have several friends that are in the same boat, so we can collaborate on our fundraising efforts. So the next year will be full of fundraising and anticipating the return of our son, Max.

2 comments:

Julianne Grace said...

There are no words... I am so happy for you. I knew it all along. He really is the perfect fit for your family. It was meant to be afterall. I will help and support anyway I can.

Kathy said...

Elissa,

Congratulations! We are very excited for you! We will keep all six of you in our thoughts and prayers as you go through this process. Friends of ours adopted from Liberia a couple of years ago. They are a great source of information and support regarding adoption and have many connections to others who have adopted as well. Their blog is http://www.themourofamily.blogspot.com/. We're looking forward to updates as you work to bring Max home! God bless - Kathy

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