I like my kids more than I like peanut butter, and other lies I've eaten

So I totally survived my first day of back to normal eating process. The brownie and ice cream nearly did me in, but I managed to take one for the team and put it all away.

To be honest there was a bit of an emotional response to some of what I ate. My healthy-ish cereal which used to taste like cardboard suddenly tasted fantastic, and my pbj was totally awesome, I felt totally blessed to welcome both back into my life. But past that everything just seemed overkill. Soda? Yuck. Chocolate? Overrated. I'm not totally convinced I missed anything over the last 40 days.

But now that I've dipped my toe back into the waters of normal consumption I am starting to look at the old processes I used to go through when I was planning my food intake and wonder what I was thinking. It's funny how my impulses are still trying to convince me to do things I don't really want to do. Cookies for breakfast? Sounds yummy. But only a moron would really do it.
Soda with lunch? Every day? I'm still not convinced that I really like soda. Why I spent years drinking it every single day is beyond me.

I hope that you see the difference between this fast and a diet. The last 6 weeks had nothing to do with my health. I wanted to seek God fully, not lose weight. So at this point my contemplations about food consumption are really less about trying to seek a healthy balance as they are about trying to seek a Godly balance.

A balance between enjoying God's provision and not letting my impulses control me. A balance between the joy that comes from eating good food with people I love, and using food to feel better about my life circumstances.

If you want the truth, I think Satan uses food as a tool to draw our focus away from Jesus. You can call me crazy if you want to, but I totally recognize the lies about food that I've totally been swallowing for 33 years. About how I've been confusing joy found in time eating with my family for joy found in the food I'm eating.
So now when you see me with fruit in my hand instead of candy, know that I like you more than my food.

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