It's not about me. But it totally is.

I have a confession.
I have a secret agenda that I don't really want to tell anyone about. I try not to let it control me, but it totally does. The things I do, the things I say. They all reflect my secret agenda I don't want you to know about.

So what is it? Draw attention to myself and make you like me.

Hey let me do this thing that I think is really Holy and I can claim is for Jesus, but really my poor little heart just wants to take all the credit for what I've just done. I may or may not go out of my way to announce to my accomplishment to the world, but you can bet I'm totally looking around to see if anyone noticed. And yes I will accept your feedback about how awesome I was.

I can see Jesus up in heaven rolling his eyes at me. Silly, silly girl.

So the question for today is what does life without this secret agenda look like? What does it really look like to live my life for Jesus, taking none of the credit for myself. Is it even possible to get through a single hour or one task with out the incredibly narcisitic desire to make what ever I'm doing be about me instead of Jesus.

I'm thinking not really. This sad, pathetic little heart of mine just isn't that good. But today I'm going to try. Sweet Jesus am I going to need some grace today.

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