So here are some of the finer solutions that people have offered me as my wounded child is trying really hard to keep his act together in public, and how I generally respond.
That child is really too big for you to be carrying him.
My choices are carry him or listen to him scream. Trust me, you don't want me to put him down.
Just ignore him, he'll stop.
Ignoring a neglected child DOESN'T WORK. Infact it makes him worse. Far worse.
Have you tried the sticker chart?
It might work if my child had a desire to please me and avoid negative consequences. Neither of which holds any desire in his little heart. He doesn't recognize my authority as his parent, and I'm pretty sure bribing him with stickers isn't going to change that fact.
Just give that kid a swat. He'll stop.
Um, so this kid was probably a victim of abuse, so not only can we not "just give him a swat" but we really can't give our other children swats in front of him anymore either. Besides, I'm never going to give him the type of beating he's recieved before, so my little butterfly swats generally would fall under the category of "you really think that's painful? You really have no idea, do you lady" and therefor not be a deterrant anyway.
and my personal favorite:
That one looks like he needs to have his video games taken away when you get home.
Lets just talk about all the things that life has already taken away from this child. His biological parents, his siblings, his culture, a climate that he's used to, his native language, his best friend Igor, all of his toys, clothes and other belongings - including the shirt off his back, do I need to go on?
I'm thinking losing the ipod for 20 minutes isn't really going to inflict a great sense of loss or deprivation on this kid.
Any other "tips" out there that I've missed? Help me out fellow Mamas who've heard it all...