2/19/2013

My lies

Satan is a liar. We all get that, right? It's not news to most people who are reading this. I'm sure. The fact that Satan still lies to people who love Jesus is hopefully not new to any of you either. We talked a recently talked a bit about the lies I've heard in regards to my son, but those aren't the only ones I've heard lately.
So since I made a pact with myself not to keep secrets with you, and we're already on the theme of lying anyway I thought I'd share another little lie that keeps resurfacing in my heart. Maybe you've heard something similar whispered in your ear and haven't been able to fully process the truth behind it. Lets talk about this together, shall we? 
My next lie that I'm ashamed to admit that I've considered for even a second is that because I'm not some really famous or well respected spiritual leader (the kind with my own radio program, or 14 published devotionals under my belt) that the cries of my heart are less meaningful to God, and are somehow less powerful than they could be if I was "famous".  Therefor my quiet offerings are of a much lower quality than they could be if more people heard the truths that Jesus has shared with me. 
Some days I feel like these quiet offerings somehow make me the Walmart version of a Christian. Poorly constructed, cheap materials, low quality second rate goods. And surely my simple praise offering reflects my second rate status. And there are dark moments when these lies are full force in my face and all I can cry out is that I don't want to bring God something I bought at Walmart, because I'd really rather bring a swanky gift from Dillard's, or Williams Sonoma. Like my simple Jesus loving Mama faith isn't good enough for God. And if a few more people could hear what I had to say, then maybe I'd feel better about my faith. Does that even make sense? It does in my head, and Satan pounds me in the face with it all the time. 

And I hate to admit it, but there have been many many times I wasted a little too much of my prayer time whining. I whine because I don't feel very influential. I whine because my "ministry" only extends to a handful of people. Most times I find myself whining too loudly to hear the truth. But then there are times I remember to shut up for just a few moments the allow the truth to wash over me like a warm bath. My simple-not super influential faith-is exactly what God wants from me. It's far more beautiful to God than anything Dillards has to offer.  Just because it doesn't feel like God isn't using my faith to shake up the world, doesn't mean He isn't. 

What I bring is good enough for Jesus, and what you bring is also.  So there. 

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