Derailed

It's simple to say that our lives have been slightly derailed this fall. We knew coming into the adoption process that it would be a big headache. Just when we think that we've achieved a full understanding of how hard this will be, it gets a little harder. And a little more expensive. Jory and I have both been working long hours just to keep it all together. We received the gut wrenching news this week that Max's good friend Dasha (who we all loved tremendously) is not going to be adopted by friends of ours. That was almost enough to make us call it quits. We had a family meeting to figure out whether this kid was really worth the headache and heartache. It was Alex's tearful plea that assured us that Max is certainly worth our time and energy. He needs us, and we need him. End of discussion. So we continue on, in this season where the money is going out much faster than it is coming in, and things break for no good reason.

During this season where everything is much harder than it used to be, one would think that our trials would have a negative affect on our marriage and family life. Nope. The children continue to be a bright spot in our lives, singing sweetly along to their Bible songs and bringing in fistfuls of wildflowers in from our yard (that no one has time to mow). So I might not have exciting tales to spin of far off adventures, and dramatic athletic victories, but that's ok. The five of us are clinging to each other and to the hope of what we've been promised with all we've got. And it is so good.

Something

Jory and I have been tossing around all these great ideas related to adoption for blog posts the last few weeks. Topics such as "fun with forms" and "our psych evaluation a.k.a paying someone a lot of money to tell us we're crazy" have been thrown out, followed by "what not to say to your children when talking to the adoption agency on the phone". But I just glanced at our blog and realized we haven't written anything for nearly 3 weeks. So instead of a funny clever post, you're getting this one. But it's something. So don't complain.
The seasons are changing here in our community. As the seasons change we're thinking of new things to introduce our Max to. Raking leaves will probably be a hit, as will apple crisp. Carving pumpkins? Maybe. Recently we were told to stop emailing his orphanage. Some political move to ensure the Ministry of Education is not annoyed with FORO. But we do have a snail mail address for him. We've been warned that whatever we send him in the mail will pass through many hands before it gets him. So basically we can send him notes (that he can't read because he's illiterate) and photos, but nothing useful (cothes, toys etc) because it'll never get to him. So for now we're collecting drawings from the kids and photos to mail him. Which sounds so lame to us Americans, but to a little boy who's never recieved anything in the mail before it sounds like a treasure. When we go to Russia we will be able to take him gifts. So we're collecting all sorts of things to take over. Who needs to pack a suitcase full of clothes when you can pack hundreds of crayons, markers, silly bands etc. etc.
As for the adoption process... well at least we have a sense of humor right? At this point it's a lot of silly questions, pointless classes, and things to pay for. Oh, the things to pay for. Sigh. Our fundraising is going quite well though. We've been so blessed this fall. I have a calendar full of photoshoots for the end of Sept. and all of Oct. Slowly but surely the money we need is coming.

Encouragement

Yesterday marked a month since little Max went back to Russia. We still miss him like crazy. His laughter, calling Jory "bop", and the fun little moments that he and Alex shared still weigh heavy on our minds. We try not to dwell on the ins and outs of his day over in Russia, but I can't help calculating to see what time it is in his neighborhood to figure out what he's up to.
We recently had the joy of getting together with a group of friends who are also in the adoptive process. It was good to hear the horror stories of those farther along in the process so that we know what we're up against. I'm sure that northern Russia is a lovely place, but frankly I'm not looking forward to our 2 visits. One family had already completed the process and has their son home with them. It was good to hear their stories about how their 4 biological children are adjusting to having an 8 year old brother, and how their Max is adjusting to having siblings. Wynelle, the mom, talked about how he was mourning for his friends back in Russia, and how guilty he must feel that he's here and they aren't.
We also discussed the reaction the other families got when they announced they were adopting older children from Russia. Most people were told they were crazy (an understandable reaction). Which is so funny, because we've had the opposite reaction. Everyone we've talked to has been so encouraging. Granted we do have an adoptive friendly social network, several of our friends have adopted, and several more are in the process. We expected their support, but it goes farther than that. Our friends are soliciting their friends on our behalf, and those people are sending us money. People we don't really know are coming through for us. Almost daily it seems that we're getting encouraging notes and donations. And we're only 3 weeks in.
We know that the next year is going to be one battle after another, trying to fight for what is ours. But we know we're not going it alone. We feel that the body of Christ is rising up around us on our behalf. And it's a good place to be.