Stuck, the movie: because every child deserves a family.

I avoided this movie for a long time. I knew it would cause me to tiptoe through some raw emotional terrain that was easier to ignore. Much easier to stay in my own little world of hostas and spelling tests than it is to think about flawed international legistlation.

But I knew for the sake of my fellow adoptive Mamas I couldn’t turn a blind eye forever. It was my duty to link arms with them and say this is not ok with me, and it shouldn’t be ok with you either.

If you are unfamiliar with the film Stuck it documents the real stories of families bogged down by the bureaucratic crap associated with international adoption. Families who are waiting years while children slide further and further into despair and hopelessness.

Our own process with Max took about 18 months and cost over $45,000. As far as our story is concerned, the waiting was cut short considerably by the fact that we came into the process requesting a specific child, so we didn’t have to go through the selection period. But as far as the finances… Eek. No, there was not a discount for an older child with a traumatic social history. The kind of child that no one else will ever want. He was just as expensive as an adorable, gurgling infant. Nice, right?

Anyway, back to the movie. It’s not so much on the “hey let’s throw out all the safety measures and hand these children away to whoever wants them,” as much as it is “why did it take 18 months for this piece of paper to move from this office down the hall to that office”

Why do 90% of families who pursue international adoption walk away empty handed? Why are these adoptions down 60% in less than 10 years? Why does this need to be so darned complicated?

Good stinking question.

If politicians want to bicker about who is more official than whom, fine. Go ahead. But don’t use homeless children as your pawns. They are lives worth fighting for, not political playing cards.

Are you mad yet? I am. Does it show?

Max’s best friend Igor is still in Russia. After a year and a half, Max still wrestles with grief over the loss of his buddy. Sadly Igor’s new mommy lives about an hour and a half from me. She has his room all decked out with Sponge Bob accessories. Sadly these boys will never have a sleepover in that room because according to Russian legislation it is now ILLEGAL.

What?

This is what I’m saying.

So if you’re still with me, you’re probably just as pissed off as I am. Good. I hope you are. Let me just say on behalf of adopting families across the world, thank you for caring. If you would like to invest a little more time into this calamity you can go sign this petition. If this topic really gets under your skin like it does mine, you can invest a bit more energy here.

 Igor and all the other stuck children on this planet want me to say thank you on their behalf.

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