11 years in - part B

Dear Louisa,

My funny, funny girl. You were the one who played pranks on us as an infant and at 11 years old you are still finding ways to make us laugh. You definitely have your father’s sense of humor and love to bring the funny. We love that. We need that.

Neither you nor your sister wanted to receive any gifts for your birthday this year. The only thing either of you really wanted was to have a friend spend the night without the boys around to bug you. Can’t blame you.

So, 11 is rough. I’m definitely getting the “tween” vibe from you and your sister. Caught in a place between wanting cute little stuffed animals on your dresser, but not really wanting to sit at the kids table any more. I definitely see you and your sister heading into new territory, but it isn’t necessarily the same territory as other girls your age. Which is good. I like where you’re going. Let’s stay on the path we’re on. Please.

As you are struggling towards independence I am constantly reevaluating my approach to parenting you. You are pulling away just a bit. Wanting to be more independent. Which is super. I want that too. You make good choices and I want you to have experience figuring out what you want for yourself.  

I want you to take the lead these next few years. I want you to take my hand and show me the path that God has planned for you. Maintaining common ground with you is such a high priority to me, but I don’t want to be the one who decides what our common ground is. I want you to pick the restaurant. I want you to pick the show on Netflix. I want you to think about what I might like when you make these little decisions about what we do with our free time, but ultimately pick the thing you want. Don’t let me decide what you want.

 What I want most is to be able to support you in these tiny decisions now, so that when the decisions get a little bigger you’ll let me support you with those too.

You are smart, clever and funny. You are one of my closest friends.

Love you much,

Mom

10 years in, part b

Dear Louisa,

When I think about you, my first reaction is always a smile. Since the beginning, you’ve always been the funny one in the group; the one with the jokes that didn’t quite make sense. I’m so grateful that you have never been above a bit of slapstick humor, but you have been just a bit too dignified for the fart jokes. Thanks for keeping it classy around here.

10 is a big milestone to be sure. While a collection of my friends are bemoaning the loss of their “little” girls, I for one, am sort of excited to step through this doorway with you. I’m excited to see who both you and your sister will become. I’m excited to give you a touch more freedom and responsibility and watch you take charge. Mostly I’m just excited to start taking you on “big girl” dates.  

I love that your plan for birthday week was full of fun things for you to do with the people you love. Instead of making a long list of gifts to receive (just Legos for you this year), you and your sister have been dreaming about ways to include your friends and family in your celebrating. Baking dates with buddies, crocheting dates with Grandma and her friends, dinner dates with your parents and brothers. Ok, I might have made you include your brothers in your dinner plans, they don’t have to know.

You are a sweet girl, and your siblings are so lucky to have you. I think intuitively you already know how important it is for you to be close to your siblings; even the one who is a little more special than normal. The road ahead will be rocky. The friends you make might not always be that trustworthy. But the relationships you’ve managed to cultivate not only with your twin but also with your brothers will keep you afloat through the turbulent years that come. Stick together. You’ll be fine.

Love you big,

Mom

So much more real.

Warning. I just took a trip. Now you as my loyal subjects must read about it, and look at the cute pictures of my adorable children frolicking around Chicago

(which includes the pictures of my daughter’s bestie, Livie, who legally is not my child, but I’m claiming her anyway. Cause that’s just how I roll.)

First of all, my thank yous:

To the hotel cleaning lady who didn’t speak English. Thank you for muttering your comments about my messy children and traveling companions in your native language, far away from our listening ears. We totally deserved them. We know. You rock.

To the homeless bums who targeted us on the streets with endless requests for handouts. Thank you for thinking I’m a compassionate mark because I’m traveling with kids and carrying bags from the expensive stores I just spent too much money in. We appreciate the life lessons you provided for our children. Kids, this is what happens if you don’t study for your spelling tests. Don’t be homeless.

To all the yummy restaurants we ate at. Thank you for being so far away from our hotel and forcing us to take those excruciatingly long walks back before we collapsed into our food comas. Therefore erasing all the calories we just ate. Everyone knows vacation calories don’t count.

Just for the record, receipts don’t count either. What happens on vacation stays on vacation. Just sayin.

 

Most of all, to all the weirdos who roam the public streets, to all the icky pigeons and sea gulls (who are clearly rats with wings), and to all the people, sights, and smells that are just plain different than my daughters are used to, thank you for opening my daughters to the reality that this world really is much bigger than they think it is, and for pushing them a bit out of their comfort zone. Thank you for making our vacation so much more real.

Presents for a princess... purple or otherwise

The other day I was sitting at the computer, keys clicking away when out of the corner of my eye I saw a touch of purple creeping around the periphery of the room. I turned to greet my sweet 9 year old daughter, Louisa, and invited her over for a chat. But instead of joining me, she skittering out of sight to a safe hiding spot.

Now my younger daughter is an odd child to be sure, but this was really unusual behavior for her. Curious, I closed down my work station and went searching for my purple princess, eager to find out exactly what was on her mind.

I found her in the next room, hidden beneath a pile of blankets.  Being the loving mother I am, I not so gently coerced my baby girl out of hiding by threatening to dog pile on top of her hideout if she didn’t show herself immediately and tell me what she was thinking.

After a great amount of arm twising and threats of tickle torture, she finally spilled her beans. “Mom, that ceramic doll that plays music,” she says to me thoughtfully, “the one your grandma painted for you when you were a little girl… Who gets that when you die?”

Ah. One of my prized possessions. Irreplaceable really, mostly because my grandmother gave it to me not long before she passed away. So yes, it’s special to me.

But you know as well as I do that my sweet little girl is way more precious to me than anything else in the world (besides her ornery siblings), and it would delight my heart to no end to give her such a precious gift when the time comes.

But the thing was, I had no idea how deeply she wanted it. And if she hadn’t worked up the nerve to ask about it I would never have know how special she thought it was.

And I think to myself, how often have I put myself in this situation? How many times have I hidden the desires of my heart from Jesus because I was afraid to ask for them? How many precious little gifts would He have been more than willing to hand me if I’d worked up the courage to ask for them?

Maybe it’s time to stop hiding under a pile of proverbial blankies and talk to Jesus about what I really want. I might be surprised at how He responds.

Celebrating you part 2

So yesterday we took a moment to celebrate sweet Annie, today it's Louisa's turn.


I love that both she and her sister wanted to turn their unused topbunk into a reading nook, which I can now not get them to come out of. Yes, I'm unabashedly jealous.

 I love that the reason their topbunk is unused is because they still want to share the twin bed underneith.

 I love that she thinks a courduroy dress and flannel pajama pants makes the perfect outfit to wear out on the town. No, I don't try to correct her either.

 I never imagined raising twins could be such a phenomenal experience. I never thought that they would compliment each other so well, and bring the perfect balance to the insane task of raising boys. I don't know what I would do without them, they're my heroes, my lifeline to sanity and my breath of fresh air.


They're my girls, and you can't have them. 

Look who I found...

So I mentioned a few weeks ago that the girls are spending their summer with Grandma Peterson this year. It was hard for me to send them away for eight weeks, but every time I hear from them they are having the time of their lives and I'm so thrilled that they had the opportunity to have such an adventure.

The other day I shared a bit about the passing of Jory's grandfather. Because of his passing we ended up taking an unexpected trip out to the ranch for the funeral. As much as I wanted to go be supportive for those who were grieving, I really really just wanted to hold my babies.

Aren't they cute?

Trust me when I say I sucked up every last second with those two little cuddle bugs. They were so full of sunshine and sugar. They had 4 weeks of hugs saved  up for me and I savored every last one of them.

Love those girlies. So glad Grandma gets to enjoy them for a bit longer.

Be someone else's sunshine.

My dear sweet daughters,
Today I am sending you off to the great wide world. It feels a little like I'm sending you off to college. But you're 8. It's too early for that. You, my darlings are headed out to New Mexico to love on Grandma Peterson for an entire summer. She is a little lonely after Papa passed away, and you are getting picked on by a brother who doesn't really understand how to form positive relationships with females. So it's a win - win situation for everyone.

Everyone but me. You two are my little lights and you make my world so much brighter. You have no idea how much I like having you here with me all the time. I rather enjoy not having to sharing you with the rest of the world. But I also know that keeping you here when you're needed elsewhere is selfish. The rest of the world needs to see your little light too.

And so I send you, with extra batteries, to be a flashlight. To light up someone else's world. Not forever, but for now. 

Go and spread your love and sunshine, your giggles and hugs, and the goofy songs that you make up to make people laugh. Go be your incredible little selves, but remember who you belong to.
You are mine, and I'm not sharing you forever.
Not yet at least.
Love and hugs,
Mom

Tiny Dancers...

Their shoes might be little, but their faith is not.
They love to dance, and they love Jesus.
Dancing for Jesus? That's a no brainer.

Love my tiny dancers.

Worship dance team, Palm Sunday 2012

Celebrating both of you

So my daughters are twins, which means that there is 1 birthday for 2 girls.  Obviously.
Normally it's not that big of a deal, but around their birthday I sort of put up a stink. For one week out of the year they are two people. Annie and Louisa. Not "Annieweeza #1" and "Annieweeza #2".  And during birthday week I bend over backwards to make sure they know - that I know - that they are 2 separate individuals. Celebrating their individuality sounds all fantastic and noble until you realize they're essentially the same person in two bodies. They look alike, like all the same foods, have the same best friends, do the same extra curricular activities, gravitate towards the same toys, and read the same books. Not to mention that they've been sharing a twin bed for nearly 5 years now, simply because they want to.
So yeah, celebrating their individuality isn't the easiest thing on the planet. But we make do by letting the girls both plan their own day of fun. As Annie adequately put it last year, she has her birthday and her other birthday. Nice.
So this year, for Annie's birthday she decided to have her (and Louisa's) good friend Livie come over to play, make brownies and have dinner. Louisa decided that we should all have a trip to the pool and dinner with Grandma to celebrate her special day.

In the beginning, I wasn't so psyched about this twin thing. But it's working out pretty well I'd say.

Letter to Louisa

My sweet Louisa
Louie, Louisa - bean, Weeza. But never Lulu.

You are such a spunky little girl. I know I've told you this before, but I'll tell you again - you always have a tinkle in your eye, and a song in your heart. You keep the mood light around here, and we love you for it. There have been many hard moments in our lives in the last year, and time and time again, you were the one who ushered joy back into the house. You, with your dancing stuffed animals, your quirky artwork and stories and your ever present giggles. I love your giggle, and I love it when you and your sister start in on your giggle fits.
This year you and Annie started ballet dancing. While your sister has been the more athletic twin, you my dear have just a tidge more grace to your steps. I"m pleased with how quickly you two picked up the style, you can both keep up with the other girls in your class who have been dancing much longer than you have. Plus it's just fun to watch you twirl around the living room, humming your little tunes.I love it when you put on your fancy ballet stuff, turn on fancy classical music and pretend that you are a very fancy girl.
This year has been the year of the American dolls. While I can't help but think they are a little creepy (sorry!) I love how much you are learning about American history through the books. I love that they are inspiration for your stories and artwork. And I'm really really glad that you chose them over Sponge Bob (barf).
I've also had a keen eye on you this fall to watch how you adjust to being a big sister to little Max, and you're also doing just fine. You were the one we worried about the most, but there was no need for our worries. You're good at rolling with the punches, and not freaking out too much when he's being a super-pest.
You my dear are turning out to be quite a lovely little lady, and I'm so glad to have you around.
I love you,
Mommy

Because

Because it's Thursday
Because they're totally into having their hair braided.
Because sometimes they need to feel like they're the center of my universe...

Because I love the way they make each other laugh
Because of those teeth.
But mostly just because it they're all mine...

Happy Thursday from Princess Twinkle Toes #1 and #2

Forgotten Favorites

Every now and then I go through the multitudes of photos I've taken of my family to decide which ones are going to end up in scrapbooks, and which ones will never see the light of day (yes, I have those too). Usually as I do I come across a few hidden gems that I've forgotten about. Here are some gems that I've recently rediscovered...

What can I say, I've had a thing for tall grass this summer. And sunkissed little girls. (Yes, I checked them for ticks when we were done)

And just in case you thought all I do is sit in tall grass watch the local wildlife here are some of my little Max...

Guest Blogger: Louisa

(Self Portrait by Louisa)

Hi Louisa! Howdy

How are you today: absolutely perfect

What is your favorite thing to play: foxy

What do you do to make your family laugh: make funny sounds

What's your favorite place to be: snuggling with Mommy

What is your favorite restaurant: Bob Evans

What's something you like to do when you are feeling sneaky that you don't want Daddy to know about? steal Halloween candy

If you had a million dollars what would you do with it: help people

How are you different than your sister: She likes different foods

If you could be any animal what would you pick and why: a fox because I like them, and they are very fast

Whats your favorite art supply: stickers and crayons, and the paper cutter

Kid funny

Over the weekend Jory took the kids to an international festival at our church. The point of the festival was to introduce the church to all the missions we support (both state side and international) and give us the opportunity to learn about and how to pray for each one. Afterwards the kids called me (I was away with friends for the weekend) to tell me about their evening, and Louisa wanted to tell me about the Turkish missionaries she had learned about, so when it was her turn to talk the first thing she said was "guess what Mommy! I prayed for Turkeys!"

Gobble Gobble.

I told you she was the prankster in the group.

winter princess

Yesterday we were graced by a lovely little snow shower. As the girls were coming in from their little winter frolic in the new fallen snow I was taken by how beautiful they looked all covered with the fine white powder. This is Louisa, who was quite tired of the snow at this point, but was willing to stop and let her crazy mother take just one more picture of her all covered in snow.

Letter to Louisa

Dear Louisa,
You are my precious, spunky little girl. You always have a twinkle in your eye and a song in your heart. You are the clown in this group, always making us laugh about something. I love the way you look at life, and the way you make me look at my own life.

You are also the most laid back child in this group. You're the one who's most likely to just roll with the punches, which makes my life that much easier. You will go far in life, knowing when to pick your battles, and knowing that life is much easier when you don't freak out about stuff that doesn't really matter. My prayer for you is that you will let God show you which battles to fight, and when it's time to just roll with the punches.

It has been a joy to watch your faith develop along with your sister's. You are also becoming quite the prayer warrior, which makes my heart sing. I love it when you share your spontaneous prayers with me. You melt my heart with the sweet innocent prayers that come from your little heart, and I can only imagine how they touch God's heart as well.

There's no way I can overlook your creativity. The creativity both you and your sister display puts my efforts to shame. It seems like you are always making something beautiful for the people you love. This year I have enjoyed getting books about world art for you to pour over, and taking you to the art museum to expand your artistic perspective. My dear, you serve a Mighty Creator, and I pray that you will always enjoy connecting to God through your creativity the same way I do.

You are becoming a beautiful little lady, one that I'm proud to call my daughter. I'm so excited to see the woman of God you will become.

Repurposed kids clothes - day 3

So you know what happens when you make something cute for 2 of your kids, but not the third. You'd better have a good project lined up for that 3rd kid. Or else.
With that in mind, I went back to the give away bag. I found a cute pair of jeans with embroidery around the ankles that had a hole in the knee. So I took the pant leg with the hole in it, and cut it off below the hole. Then, for kicks I found an old tee-shirt to use as the lining. I cut off the back panel of the shirt and measured it to fit the length and width of the denim piece I had. After I had the lining pinned and sewed inside the pant leg, I stitched the bag shut at what used to be the ankle, and stitched a finished edge around the top of the bag.
To make a strap I took the other pant leg, cut off a long strip, making sure to keep the embroidery where you could see it. To finish it I stitched the edges together and sewed the ends to the inside of the bag.

This one took me a little longer than the other bags, the lining part wasn't exactly necessary. But the size was just right for Louisa's favorite critter "Foxy", and I can see her stuffing a water bottle in there to take with us as we go out and about.

a case of the sillies

After I was up all night with a sick Louisa I could use a little chuckle. I thought you could to. These are from a few days ago.

I don't know what it is about this one of Alex, to me it just shouts CREEPY OLD MAN!

Again with the creepy shots of my children. I know. But this one of Louisa made us all laugh.

And finally Annie, my most photogenic kid - um. No comment.

Welcome winter

We had a rather wintery week this week. A little snow and some chilly temperatures have been enough to make us hunker down, and complain (just a little). In the past I've never been a huge fan of winter, not a winter-hater, but certainly not a lover either. This year I can't help but embrace the cold a little differently. This year we have a son who lives near the arctic circle. I can't imagine what it'd be like to get 4 hours of sunlight each day, and face week after week of temperatures below zero. When I think about what goes on outside of Max's window, I can't help but think that we're a little spoiled by our not-arctic climate. Lets be honest, the weather here in Ohio isn't that bad. Maybe this year I'll learn how to stop counting the days until spring. I thought I was so clever last week because I'd outsourced all my Christmas projects to the children. Wrong. All I can say is there was a void left by the absence of craftiness. So this week we're making a miniature Christmas tree forest out of clippings from my parents live tree. There are a few more top secret projects that I'm not at liberty to discuss. But they are really darned fun.
Last of all, we have an adoption update. We had our second interview with our social worker. She still loves us. At this point it's still way to early to predict a timeline for when we will get to make our first trip to Russia, but she was optimistic that we could be called in January or February. Unfortunately we won't be able to bring Max home with us, it's just a "visit". We have to wait until our court case comes up, which won't be until summer probably.