11 years in - part B

Dear Louisa,

My funny, funny girl. You were the one who played pranks on us as an infant and at 11 years old you are still finding ways to make us laugh. You definitely have your father’s sense of humor and love to bring the funny. We love that. We need that.

Neither you nor your sister wanted to receive any gifts for your birthday this year. The only thing either of you really wanted was to have a friend spend the night without the boys around to bug you. Can’t blame you.

So, 11 is rough. I’m definitely getting the “tween” vibe from you and your sister. Caught in a place between wanting cute little stuffed animals on your dresser, but not really wanting to sit at the kids table any more. I definitely see you and your sister heading into new territory, but it isn’t necessarily the same territory as other girls your age. Which is good. I like where you’re going. Let’s stay on the path we’re on. Please.

As you are struggling towards independence I am constantly reevaluating my approach to parenting you. You are pulling away just a bit. Wanting to be more independent. Which is super. I want that too. You make good choices and I want you to have experience figuring out what you want for yourself.  

I want you to take the lead these next few years. I want you to take my hand and show me the path that God has planned for you. Maintaining common ground with you is such a high priority to me, but I don’t want to be the one who decides what our common ground is. I want you to pick the restaurant. I want you to pick the show on Netflix. I want you to think about what I might like when you make these little decisions about what we do with our free time, but ultimately pick the thing you want. Don’t let me decide what you want.

 What I want most is to be able to support you in these tiny decisions now, so that when the decisions get a little bigger you’ll let me support you with those too.

You are smart, clever and funny. You are one of my closest friends.

Love you much,

Mom

11 years old, part A

Dear Annie

When I sit down every year to write your birthday letter I always struggle to find the words to tell you how great I think you are. This year isn’t much different. But if I had to pick a word for you, I’d pick joy. You’re just a joy to have, a joy to parent, and a joy to be friends with.

This year our relationship has started the gentle shift towards independence. We are starting to give you more freedom and respecting your decisions. Because my darling, you make good choices. And they are worthy of our respect.

You’re a complete workhorse when it comes to your school. You consistently go above and beyond what is asked of you, completing extra work just for the fun of it. You are starting to like Math more these days, but almost always have a book (or three) in your hand. Just in case.

You received a sewing machine this year and took to it right away. You love figuring out how to engineer the design you have in your head. Like your mother, you have no real use for patterns, or trying to make something specific according to someone else’s direction. And I love that. Learn how to make things up as you go. Adapt. Enjoy the process. Don’t worry about having the perfect finished product. These skills will serve you well in life.

Love you,

Mom

10 years in part A

Dear Annnie,

I have a confession to make to you on your 10^th birthday. When I was pregnant with you and your sister, I wasn’t that excited about the idea of giving birth to twins. God brought you both to our family when your brother was still very much a baby; and having three children under 2 years old just didn’t sound that fun to me.

But really, God knew what He was doing when he planned for you and your sister to join us on the same day. You have been a joy since the beginning. A fun loving, hard working, sweetie of a girl. And I get a little jealous when it comes time for me to share you with friends and family. I don’t know what I’ll do if you ever decide to switch over to the public school. I’m pretty sure I might have to climb in your backpack and stalk you all day.

This has been the year of the horses for both of you girls. You’ve taken to bringing us a report on the neighbor’s horses when you go out to get the mail each afternoon. I think you volunteer for the task just so you can take a moment at the fence and spy on them. It brought so much joy to my heart to watch you interacting with the horses when we took our trip out west before Christmas.

So ten is sort of a big birthday, a gateway if you will. I definitely see the teen years coming in you. The way you roll your eyes and groan at me. It’s amusing now, though I don’t imagine it will always be so.  But I also love what I think I see you becoming.

I can only hope that you’ll always be the girl who loves having dates with your parents, and grandparents. The girl with inseparable best friends from dance class. The girl who can jump in and make dinner when I’m out and about and everyone else is hungry.  And the girl who seeks fashion advice from her (rather unfashionable) mother. Please don’t ever figure out that I’m clueless when it comes to clothing.

I love you more today than I did yesterday.

Mom

(nearly) wordless wednesday

 

Sister love... 

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Celebrating both of you

So my daughters are twins, which means that there is 1 birthday for 2 girls.  Obviously.
Normally it's not that big of a deal, but around their birthday I sort of put up a stink. For one week out of the year they are two people. Annie and Louisa. Not "Annieweeza #1" and "Annieweeza #2".  And during birthday week I bend over backwards to make sure they know - that I know - that they are 2 separate individuals. Celebrating their individuality sounds all fantastic and noble until you realize they're essentially the same person in two bodies. They look alike, like all the same foods, have the same best friends, do the same extra curricular activities, gravitate towards the same toys, and read the same books. Not to mention that they've been sharing a twin bed for nearly 5 years now, simply because they want to.
So yeah, celebrating their individuality isn't the easiest thing on the planet. But we make do by letting the girls both plan their own day of fun. As Annie adequately put it last year, she has her birthday and her other birthday. Nice.
So this year, for Annie's birthday she decided to have her (and Louisa's) good friend Livie come over to play, make brownies and have dinner. Louisa decided that we should all have a trip to the pool and dinner with Grandma to celebrate her special day.

In the beginning, I wasn't so psyched about this twin thing. But it's working out pretty well I'd say.

Letter to Louisa

My sweet Louisa
Louie, Louisa - bean, Weeza. But never Lulu.

You are such a spunky little girl. I know I've told you this before, but I'll tell you again - you always have a tinkle in your eye, and a song in your heart. You keep the mood light around here, and we love you for it. There have been many hard moments in our lives in the last year, and time and time again, you were the one who ushered joy back into the house. You, with your dancing stuffed animals, your quirky artwork and stories and your ever present giggles. I love your giggle, and I love it when you and your sister start in on your giggle fits.
This year you and Annie started ballet dancing. While your sister has been the more athletic twin, you my dear have just a tidge more grace to your steps. I"m pleased with how quickly you two picked up the style, you can both keep up with the other girls in your class who have been dancing much longer than you have. Plus it's just fun to watch you twirl around the living room, humming your little tunes.I love it when you put on your fancy ballet stuff, turn on fancy classical music and pretend that you are a very fancy girl.
This year has been the year of the American dolls. While I can't help but think they are a little creepy (sorry!) I love how much you are learning about American history through the books. I love that they are inspiration for your stories and artwork. And I'm really really glad that you chose them over Sponge Bob (barf).
I've also had a keen eye on you this fall to watch how you adjust to being a big sister to little Max, and you're also doing just fine. You were the one we worried about the most, but there was no need for our worries. You're good at rolling with the punches, and not freaking out too much when he's being a super-pest.
You my dear are turning out to be quite a lovely little lady, and I'm so glad to have you around.
I love you,
Mommy

Letter to Annie

My sweet Annabel,
Tomorrow you turn 8. How can that be? You are such a delightful kid, and are truly a joy to have around. I know you don't think so, but you and your sister are so very similar that it's difficult to define your personality in a way so that it doesn't just mimic your sisters. You and your sister continue to have such a uniquely intertwined relationship, it's almost as if you are two halves of a whole.  I'll bet you're the only set of 8 year olds I know that share a twin bed, because you want to.
And I love that about you two.
As for you my dear, you've become quite the domestic diva this year. You cook, you clean, and when our little friend Elizabeth comes over, you are quick to take responsibility for her. Not only are you sweet and gentle with her, but when the time comes for authority, you stand your ground and don't give in. No matter what. I love that. It takes guts to stand up to a whiney toddler (or an obnoxious little brother), and I know a roomful of adults who aren't nearly as good at it as you are. You're a tough one with a heart of gold.
This year as we welcomed your new brother into the family I was concerned about how you would adjust. I was warned about how you might act out or regress. I haven't seen either from you. If anything you've stepped up to the plate to be extra helpful and sweet. I love that you're constantly offering to help with the chores, and don't give me grief when I ask for help.
You my dear make my crazy life possible. I think I would have jumped ship long ago if you weren't so reliable.
So happy birthday my little smunch-kin.
I love you,
Mommy

Because

Because it's Thursday
Because they're totally into having their hair braided.
Because sometimes they need to feel like they're the center of my universe...

Because I love the way they make each other laugh
Because of those teeth.
But mostly just because it they're all mine...

Happy Thursday from Princess Twinkle Toes #1 and #2

Giggle Girls

I love these photos of my daughters. they are a perfect representation of their relationship during this phase of their lives. Sundresses, missing teeth and giggles.

Oh my with the giggles.

I don't know if its a twin thing or what, but they regularly errupt in uncontrollable giggle fits. And it cracks me up. Every sigle time. Even when they're supposed to be sleeping but they're in there giggling away about noses or something. I can't help it. They're just too darned funny.

Double the Birthday, Double the Fun

Being the mother of identical twins is a little tricky around birthday time. On my not-so-good at mothering days I have a tendency to lump the girls together as a single entity. They look alike, play alike, they are almost a perfect carbon copy of each other, so thinking of them as one and the same is not a challenge. (Give me a break, I'll bet 90% of my friends can't tell which girl is which anyway). Come birthday time I get a little on my high horse and demand that we celebrate each girl as an individual. 2 girls, 2 celebrations. 2 days worth of party-ing, and 2 birthday dinners. Or as Annie so accurately put it, "my birthday, and my other birthday". Only a twin could get away with claiming she has two birthdays.

Anyway. All that to say that we celebrated the girls birthday last week. Twice. Their actual birthday was on Thursday. We started the day with a scavenger hunt that ended with little debbie snack cakes hidden in the microwave. The kids all had their school work done in advance, so they all had the day off from school. Which means we had lots of time for playing, and baking birthday brownies. They managed to agree on dinner at the Chinese buffet, which made life a little easier. Normally we would have done birthday gifts after dinner, but this year the girls couldn't think of anything they wanted, so we went grocery shopping instead.

Their other birthday was on Saturday. Jory's gift to them was a trip to the roller skating rink. We'd never taken them before, but they received roller skates for Christmas, and were itching to use them. Turns out both girls are naturals. Alex, not so much. But we all had a fabulous time zipping around the rink. After skating it was time for pizza and a quick trip to the library.