The opposite of a rockstar

There’s a myth that has pervaded my heart for way too long. I’m ready to call my little myth out and make it accountable to the reality that it’s a very silly farcity. Here it is, ready?

If you work really really hard at something you will eventually succeed.

You’re offended. I can tell.

Now before you get all “you can’t say that, it’s un-American” on me, hear me out.

Ever try to give birth to a puppy?

This is what I’m saying. You can try really really hard. You can reach for the stars all you want. You can buy the American Idol dream that everyone was created to be a superstar.

But the reality of the situation is that sometimes you will fail. And if you’re like me, you’ll fail continuously.

So what then.

What happens when you put everything you have into a Christ honoring dream for yourself, and Jesus still says no. What happens when you pray your prophet sized prayers and fire isn’t cast down from Heaven on your behalf?

Now I’m not a theologian, I don’t have (much) of the Bible memorized. In fact I don’t always pay attention in church. Eek. I know. But I do like Jesus. A lot. And I really try to do a lot to make Him happy. So when the silence from heaven is deafening, it’s easy to take it personally.

And that’s where my problem starts.

I am constantly catching myself praying egocentric prayers. Under the guise of asking to be made more useful I hear my hidden agenda of make me more visible.

Use my talents to glorify yourself, but please let people notice (and reward) my efforts in the process.

It sounds so silly when I say it out loud, doesn’t it?

Who am I really trying to glorify here?

So as we struggle forward, continuing to pray our prophet sized prayers, let us be ever mindful of that secret hidden agenda we surely all have.

Let us try to do the work that God has set before us in the hopes that no one will notice. That glory will not be misdirected in our favor. That we won’t be the superstars.

Lord please don’t make me a superstar. My poor little egocentric heart can’t handle the attention.

(nearly) wordless wednesday

bloom.
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What not to buy.

I recently read an article about someone’s don’t buy list. Since I didn’t save a link to the article I can’t share it with you, but the basic gist of the article was creating a rule for your house to help you decide what you would and would not buy to decorate your home with.

Such as “I don’t buy modern accents.”

Great. Very helpful right? So as I’m thinking through what my “don’t buy it” list would include I cannot in good faith limit the rule to decorating my house.

Because at the end of the day, I don’t really care what my house looks like.

Eep. My Alexa rank totally just went down with that little confession. I know. I’m not really sure I care.

I’m all about engaging in authentic relationships with friends and family. So at the end of the day I’d really rather invest my energy in people, not possessions.

Because everything I purchase will eventually be thrown away. So there. If  you thought my house is all posh and designer-y I’m sorry to burst your bubble. It isn’t.

Anyway. Back to the point. My “don’t buy rule” is this: if it doesn’t serve to strengthen my children’s character or improve a relationship with people I care about it doesn’t come in my house. Comfy couches for family time? Yup.

Formal anything that I’m afraid to use it because my tornado child will break it five minutes after I take it out of the box? Yeah, no.

If it’s a toy that only one kid can play with at a time, forget it.

Enough storage to tame the clutter and keep my organizational brain from freaking out (and yelling at my kids?) Yeah, totally.

These are the things I think about before I decide what can come in and what should just stay at Target.

Have a “don’t buy” rule for your house? I’d love to hear about it. It’s your turn. Go.

Talking about mean girls giveaway winner!

And it's a giveaway day!

This is where I usually write something really quirky and clever because I know you won't bother reading it. You just want to know who won. But I spent a few too many moments in the sun today and I got nothin. So we'll just get on with it.

According to our random number generator our winner is:

Which according to my master list is:

Aileen De J 

Yea!!!

I need your address so I can forward it to the shipping department!

 

(nearly) wordless wednesday

Let's roll.
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A girls guide to best friends and mean girls

So yesterday we talked about a new book I just got from Side Door Communications called Talking with Your Daughter About Best Friends and Mean Girls. Today we have the companion book for you to give to your girlie titled. A girls guide to best friends and mean girls. 

So when I see something labeled as a "companion book" I think same content repackaged with cuter graphics. I'll just save myself a few pennies and buy the grown up version for us to share. 

My friends it is not the same book with different graphics. It is it's own awesome-sauce stand alone book that is part self-help, part Bible study helping girls think through important issues such as what it looks like to be a friend and how to choose friends. It also teaches girls the importance of meditating on God’s Word on a daily basis. Their desire is to help girls see that Jesus is the ultimate friend and the perfect example to follow when it comes to understanding how to be a friend. 

So they go together, but they aren't the same thing. You really do want to buy both. 

We received this book for review purposes, as always, our opinions are %100 our own. 

Talking about best friends and mean girls

I've been secretly geeked about this new book I got from my friends over at Side Door Communications. 

Here's a bit from the release blurb they sent me: 

No matter how you cut it, girls are wired for relationship. According to one study, sixty-seven percent of tween girls—those ages 8 to 12—say that “having lots of friends” is among the top three factors that give them the most confidence. But as much as tween girls crave friendships, learning how to wisely choose friends, how to be a good friend, and what to do when hurts and jealousy creep into the relationship can be a challenge. Dannah Gresh believes its critical for moms to come alongside their daughters and teach them how to navigate these challenges in a biblical way. 

So with that in mind when I cracked open Talking with Your Daughter about Best Friends and Mean Girls I was thrilled to find 8 great date ideas that came with their own little devotion for me to share with my girlies. Like a mom and me Bible study. Sweet. 

 Each one and a half hour date has a different friendship focus but follows the same general format, including special audio messages, mom-daughter discussion time, and a fun challenge activity, including a sleepover, scrapbooking, shopping, and ding-dong-ditching neighbors. Dates can be done one-on-one or as part of a small group of moms and daughters. The first date looks at what true friendship looks like, based on the Bible, with the following dates focused on specific people or groups such as loving your neighbor, your best friend, and your parents.

So I'm in the process of collecting takers for a "Mom and me" Bible study group. Any takers? Livie, Kenzie, Makayla? All the girls from my VBS group a few weeks ago? Who's in? 

Yippee!

We received this book for review purposes, as always, our opinions are %100 our own. 

12 cool new water play ideas

12 cool new ideas for water play Hot, bored, grumpy. These are the sounds of summer, am I right fellow Mama’s? As July turns into August and some of our early favorite summer boredom busters get a little, well, boring. (Gasp. I know.) It’s time for some fresh ideas on how to entertain our youngsters.

I’m going out on a limb to guess that by now you’ve filled up the baby pool and yanked out the basket of tub toys for some outside play so many times that your eyes get a little crossed every time your youngster brings it up in conversation. Me too. Well now. Let’s think outside the box on this one, shall we?

How about:

• Paint brushes
• Scrub brushes 
• Paint roller
• Straws
• Ice cubes

(yeah, you didn't think I was going to post all 12 ways here did you? The rest of the article is waiting on Today's Mama)

(nearly) wordless wednesday

Let's eat...
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A mom and a hmm...

The other day I was sitting on the steps in the shallow end, cooling my little tootsies in our watering hole of preference. It was a gloriously sunny (for once) day, and hot as a mother hen (for once). From my little perch I was surrounded by other shallow end Mamas. You know the crowd, the ‘my kids can’t swim independently yet, but I don’t really want to get up and play with them, so I’ll just sit here and throw the ball for them’ group. Sound familiar?

They tend to have conversations that revolve around poop, tee-ball, or Blues Clues.

Last summer I was one of them, watching as my littlest boy bravely found his nerve to venture out of the shallow end. Letting those Mamas believe he was 5 like he appeared, instead of his true age of 8. Smiling and nodding as they shared their woeful tales of raising little bitties. Still sort of able to relate, as my special boy was still having such a hard time adjusting to his new family.

This year the tables have turned a bit. My littlest still has his issues, but he’s no longer confined to the shallow end of life. Thanks to a bit of maturity that comes from taking another trip around the sun, and proper medication that helps calm his angry internal beast, he’s ready for the high dive, in more ways than one.

 And as I recognize the growth in my youngest, I recognize the growth in myself. I don’t need to be a shallow end Mama anymore. I don’t need to cling to the job security that motherhood provides. I can be a mom and a…

Hmm.

A what?

That my friends is a very good question.

As I cheer my children towards independence I recognize that God has planted a seed in my heart. A seed for something else. A willingness to compartmentalize my Mama-ness, with the understanding that there are more ways to serve God than through parenting.

I can even make the steps to compartmentalize that area of my life without knowing what will step in to fill the void. God is a big God. He can figure out what I’m doing next.

So I’m taking suggestions. Any of you know what God wants me to do next? We can rule out circus clown and professional chess player, those are just not my spiritual cup of tea.

Any of you facing a blind step? I’d love to hear your story.

(nearly) wordless wednesday

Lurie Garden, Millenium Park, Chicago
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Sometimes the answer is no. Get over it.

Today I'm sharing a post with you that I wrote for my fellow adoptive mama Erin Martin,who writes at God has answered...

My little boy, he’s a bit on the special needs side. A colorful social history from before he joined our family has created an odd mix of developmental delay, behavior issues, and just plain weirdness. But he makes my world pulse with life that I didn’t know existed before he came along. He brings such a picture of faith to my line of vision. And being the dork that I am, I feel the need to share such stories with you. Like this one.

So here’s the scene.

Mom and Max bopping along in the minivan on our way to school. Aka Max’s happy place. And the rather petite nine year old is the picture of calm in his little toddler safety seat, looking at a Calvin and Hobbes comic book.

Mom suddenly remembers that she hasn’t brushed her teeth yet (oops) and reaches down for her not so secret stash of mints.

The reality of which doesn’t escape the extremely observant boy in the back. Who also wants a mint.

But he hates these mints, and it usually takes him about 30 seconds of sucking to remember that truth.

There's a life lesson in this. I promise. But you'll have to go here to find that nugget of truth... 

Maybe the sun WILL come out…

My youngest.

He kills me.

He loves his school, we all know that. The first words out of his mouth each morning, before his eyes are even open, are about his beloved school. He loves it. The boy lives, eats and breathes school. Which we all love.

So one would expect a boy who’s on his way to his happy place to be the picture of enthusiasm and joy. Right? Not so much. Well, almost never. Most days see me walking my boy through the process of getting ready for school, with a little too much support. Ok, way too much support.

More days than not, my very physically capable nine year old not only needs me to pick out his clothes, but also get him dressed, wiggly toddler style. Bless his teachers who don’t blink an eye when I hand them his shoes, meds, and soggy cereal that were just a little too much to handle, and not really worth starting a war over.

With that in mind, when a morning starts with a bright eyed boy who comes to the kitchen on his own, finishes the breakfast that mom made without a fight, and goes to find something to wear with minimal prompting you can bet this mama having her own personal dance party in a private corner of her brain.

Because the boy found something to wear. Without playing the wiggly toddler game that hates.

And the BOY. GOT. DRESSED.

Did you get that my people?

And hope dares to invade.

Perhaps we’re beginning to see the fruit of our labor. All the hours of wrestling the boy into submission. The countless second chances we’ve given him to get it right. The untold fears we’ve calmed with our consistent and predictable behavior.

Perhaps we’ve stumbled on the proper combination of medication, attachment practice, self soothing practice, and so forth.

Or perhaps it will all hit the fan halfway to school. And my boy will show up worn out from screaming for a good 10 minutes of the trip.

But today there is no soggy cereal dripping all over my kitchen table from a boy who waited for his chance to create chaos when Mom wasn’t looking.

And today my boy said “Mom are you ok?” after accidentally bumping into me. (Ok, he did panic for about 30 seconds before he was able to make that verbalization, but the fact that he did make it is a huge victory for him)

Wanna celebrate with me? There’s a party in the back of my brain.