Over the last few months we've talked about how our little Max is having a difficult time adjusting to life in our house. How he's constantly picking fights, having meltdowns and just not responding to my authority. It was easy to blame his naughtiness on his negative social history and the fact that he really just didn't know what positive relationships were supposed to look like.
Turns out his orneriness has a label. Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Now a few months ago I would have scoffed at the idea that general childhood orneriness could be classified as a medical issue that could be "fixed" with therapy. You fix orneriness with discipline, not therapy. What my kid needed was a mixture of strong consistant parenting on my behalf, and deep felt love and respect from everyone in the family. A firm diet of love and discipline will fix everything right?
That my friends is one of the subtle differences between ODD and general orneriness. After 9 months of consistant predictable parenting on my part he is still not responding to my authority. He doesn't respond to discipline, time outs, natural consequences, or positive rewards, you name it I've done it. None of it worked. He honestly didn't seem to care if he was about to be in trouble or if he was being punished. It was all a big game just to make us all mad.
Another difference that I can point out is his ability to turn it on and off at will. His disorder only presents itself when we are at home and I'm the only adult in the house, or we're in a setting where he thinks he can get away with it (like in a classroom full of children when his parents aren't visible). In either of those settings if I change one variable (such as a neighbor stops by our house for a chat) his misbehavior disappears until things return to status quo.
One more difference that I can point out is that on a normal day has about 6 hours of rage/anger/general meanness that don't have a clear target. He just wants to pick a fight with someone about something. When he's worked through his meanness for the day he's capable of playing happily for a good 2-3 hours with little to no supervision.
So what do you do with this kind of behavior? When consequences and discipline fail. The doctor recommends some sort of parent child interaction program. We'll keep an open mind about it, but I feel like I'm already doing all the stuff that they'll recommend. My special needs advisor (aka Grandma) had a handful of sensory activities that sound considerably more promising. This week we've tried starting our day out by playing with 6 lb hand weights, with mixed results. So we'll keep trying to figure out Max's sensory diet and hopefully we can get him back to a happier, healthier place.
I have been struggling with what to say about life with Max for too long. Struggling with my quirky desire to present our relationship as progressing in a gradual incline towards normalcy. That when looking from a distance our daily skirmishes are making a difference, and that my awesome parenting skills are making a difference in this little boy's life.
But really months 8 and 9 are just serving me one slice of humble pie after another. Over the last few weeks my son has added screaming and trying to pull out teeth that aren't loose to his bag of tricks. It's not uncommon for him to sit in the middle of the living room and scream at the top of his lungs for two hours because of a simple infraction such as Annie has the green crayon and he wants it. And the tooth pulling? The best we can figure is that he thinks it will get him out of going to church. Which it won't.
He recently told me that he wants to be the king, and that everyone else in the house should be the people who listen to the king. Aka his servants. Chuckle if you will, but that clears up a lot about why he's so frustrated with us, and our lack of willingness to obey his commands.
How does one parent that? Clearly the solution to these problem is deeper than time outs and losing rewards and other natural consequences. We focus on meeting his sensory needs (which helps) and focus on his developmental age (which is about 2 years) instead of his biological age (which is 8) so we are swaddling him, and rocking him, and letting him be a toddler, which helps. But at the end of the day he's still screaming at me for hours on end and the only thing I can really do is put on headphones. Because I feel like if I get frustrated and lose my cool then he's won. And theres nothing worse than losing a standoff with an eight year old who's really two.
I admit, there are days when all 5 of us struggle to love this child. When we wonder why on earth God asked us to welcome him into our family, and why oh why did we listen. But all I can say is that God has a plan, and this is a part of it. I can't pretend to understand why God asked me to pay a ton of money for such a headache, but I can focus on what I know over what I feel. I know that God has a fantastic plan for this little boy, and that plan included us. I feel like I don't have the slightest idea how to parent this child, but know that God's going to get me through it. There's a very good reason behind every tantrum, every scream, every moment of frustration. I don't have to know what those reasons are, I just need to know that they are serving a purpose.
So yesterday we talked about a fantastic book that I recently read called Be the Mom, and guess who got to interview the author? Me! So cool, I know. So here's a little Q & A that I recently had with Tracey Eyster.
EP: In your own journey
as a mother, what led you to identify and then conquer the seven “Mom
Traps” that you address in Be the Mom? TE: I started writing this book for my daughter, to give to her some day when she
becomes a mom. As I contemplated my young daughter becoming a mother I
knew that she would face times of weariness and doubt in her ability to be a
mom and I wanted to encourage her that yes, it’s hard, but it’s worth it.
I didn’t want her to listen to the world’s message that motherhood was a
diversion from what she was “really” meant to do in life. I wanted her to
understand the importance of being a mom and appreciate God’s intention that we
are to mold our children to be image bearers for God and in the process He
would mold us! I live these mom traps and I have learned how to allow the
Lord to help me have victory over them – most days! Knowledge is power,
if you can name your bad attitude you have a better chance of overcoming it!
EP: As a young mom, you
mentioned that you sometimes felt insignificant because you were “only” a stay-at-home mom. How
did you regain your sense of individual significance?
TE: I chose to understand the truth of how important it is to be a mom and to
appreciate that motherhood is a series of “seasons” - each being very
important. Younger children are very demanding, but it’s just a season. I
approached each season of motherhood with the same determination and desire for
excellence that I had when I had a great career. I started to really study the
word of God and gained a daily abiding relationship with God. He filled
the holes and soothed me on the rough days. He also revealed to me my rough
edges that needed sanding! God’s truths began to reveal that motherhood
many times is way more about growing mom than growing the kids. I also
learned not to take myself too seriously! I realized the need to be light
hearted and a bit silly, and that daily joy is a choice! When I recognized that
my children were watching and I was teaching them how to “do life,” I realized
more than just me was at stake! Life is a series of small choices. Those
choices mold us, and because we are moms, they mold our children!
EP: I gave birth to 3 children in less than 2 years. For a long time I was very much the martyr mom who had nothing on her plate but diapers and screaming children. Can you tells us a little more about the
sense of self-pity (“Martyr Mom” trap) that moms sometimes adopt? What are some
of the daily practices that can help moms like me to break out of this trap?
TE: Oh my! The Martyr Mom trap is particularly ugly and hard to admit to for that
very reason! I can fall into that trap so easily. We do what needs to get done,
but grumble about it and wear our “poor pitiful me” countenance on our sleeve
or have a bad attitude, scowl or take on an all-around pit-i-ful appearance. We
get it done, but are miserable while doing it and at times make everyone else
miserable in the process. Sort of that “walk on eggshells” around
mom...she’s a bit touchy again today! To get out of this trap you first have to
admit your bad attitude and choose to seek a better attitude. Recognize
that God calls us to do all that we do as if doing it for the Lord! This trap
is so complicated – I think you just need to read the chapter!
EP: What is the key to
contentment when moms are tempted to compare themselves to other
“picture-perfect” moms who seem to have it all together?
TE: Comparison is the thief of joy, so the fastest way to tank your attitude is to
compare yourself to others. Especially when you are comparing your every
day, or your worst, to their best. All around us we see what seems to be
the ideal, and even on our own blogs we have a tendency to just write about the
good stuff! If you want to make a mom’s day, the next time you have a
rotten day – write about that! A good dose of mom reality in your life,
shared in all its un-lovely glory will be a big giant hug to that overwhelmed
mom sitting in front of her computer screen! Be always mindful to point her to
where you find your hope and how you are able to live in joy in spite of your
circumstances! If you are fully focused on God and who He says you are,
then you are less likely to compare yourself to others. And 1 Peter 3:3-4
reminds us it is our inner beauty which is of great worth to God.
EP: In an effort to be
liked, moms can sometimes become more of a friend to their kids than a mother. Why is this dangerous?
TE: Based on my experience and my observation, I have learned that your children
have lots of friends – but they only have one mom! Am I right?! That seems sort
of basic, but I think we constantly need to be reminded of that and stay true
to that calling of mom first. Trust me, they regularly get advice and
counsel from their peers, or from those who are marketing to them and their
peers. What they need is a mom (and parents) who are pouring truth and
Godly character into them. We want to build a relationship with our
children, but that relationship needs to be tempered with wisdom and the
understanding that as parents we have authority over them. We want to
teach our children to respect authority and realize that even when they don’t
like it, they must come under the authority to those God has placed over them.
Grow in relationship through time spent together, memories made together,
having fun, being interested in what they are interested in—then trust is
built. Recognize that how you interact with your children is training
them in how they will interact with future roommates, with spouses and with
their own children. You want your child to be others focused not
self-focused and too much “it’s all about you” to a young child, becomes “it’s
all about me” in a teen and adult – that’s not pretty. It’s also not what
God has called us to.
EP: In one chapter you talk about "they says", and how moms are affected by what others are saying. How can a mom
effectively navigate the countless “they says” out there and make the best
decisions specific to their kids?
TE: The fast answer is that you need to be a student of your child and learn who
they are and how they are gifted and then support them in their unique gifting.
Explore what their natural bent is and foster that so that they can gain
confidence. The Bible tells us we are not to conform to the pattern of
this world, so whenever you find yourself conforming to what they say – let
that be cause for pause and discussion. What your child spends his or her
time doing should have nothing to do with what everyone else is signing up for
– it’s about how God designed them. Help them find their sweet spot.
If you place values on what “others say” they will too! We want
them to place value on what God says and who God says they are! I also
think taking a step back and looking at just how much time you spend doing vs.
being is in order, if you are constantly on the go you may need to rethink some
things. Over scheduling kids is training them to be future workaholics,
again, that training for the future is always a constant. Recent studies
have even shown that a lack of unstructured play and activity is actually
hurting our children because they don’t know how to be creative and how to
think on their feet. We consistently have to help our children
recognize that the road is narrow and that’s ok. They need to be reminded
constantly that they are in the world, but not of the world.
EP: Describe the fine line between womanhood
and motherhood. Why is it important to keep them distinct?
TE: In Be The Mom, I discuss the fact
that God began to reveal to me once I became a mom that every decision I made
needed to flow through my “mom brain” because once I became a mom daily life
was about more than just me. I had already learned to alter my daily
expectations when I got married because I was not longer a me, but a wife. I
couldn’t just do whatever I wanted, my husband and I needed to discuss things
and do what was best for us. That equation multiplies big time once you
become a mom, because as a mom you are responsible for raising and training
your children (along with your husband) so many times something my “woman
brain” wants, may not be what’s best according to my mom brain. And
though with some it makes me very unpopular, I wholeheartedly believe that the
mom brain must be the primary consultation for decisions. God has given
me my children for a season and my priority should be partnering with my
husband to raise them in such a way that they have every opportunity to become
image bearers and grow into who God has designed them to be. God
entrusted them to me. The coolest part of sacrificial mothering is that
in the process, God molds a mom into who He wants her to be – you see, selfless
motherhood is a powerful tool in God’s molding hands.
EP: Sometimes moms say
“yes” to everything, believing that doing everything will make them “supermom.”
How can a mom wisely decipher the things she should say “no” to?
TE: First of all, I get it. We have so many opportunities today and so many good,
really good and really great things we can be doing each day. However,
there are only so many hours and we must determine how we want to INVEST those
hours each day. You may have to say no to some really good/great things –
but as a mom I honestly think your greatest asset is time and time invested in
your children has largenormous dividends for them...and you. We all have
a “to do” list, I challenge you to start at “to be” list and list out the ways
you can invest in your time in your family and choose some “to be” time with
your family, and even your friends. God designed us for relationship,
with Him and with others. And for those of you who just have to have some
boxes to check (ahem....I know that of which I speak) that “to be” list will
help you out! Check away sister friend!
EP: How can putting things off have a
negative effect on parenting?
TE: Oh my...if there is anything I wish I could imprint on your brain it is that
tomorrow will get here far sooner than you realize. Honestly moms,
whatever it is that you feel like being a mom is “keeping” you from – it will
still be there when your children are no longer in your home constantly.
Already you can look at your child and think, “My goodness, how can he be
almost two!” Or, “I cannot believe she is starting Kindergarten this year!”
Those years will continue to tick by. Don’t think you can put off until
tomorrow the mothering God intends for you to do today! In actuality you
could spend less than 25% of your life parenting and what you gain during that
time is invaluable in training you! Enter into your children’s world,
play with them, laugh with them, teach them, be silly, teach deep truths, enjoy
every MOMent their future, and yours, is at stake. God has such a divine
purpose in parenting, don’t miss it by waiting until tomorrow – tomorrow may
never come. With daily parenting you need to be intentional, relational
and selfless – so much is at stake!
HI friends! I have another fun book to share with you today! This one is called Be the Mom, Overcome attitude traps and enjoy your kids. As an experienced mother of two, the author draws on her own personal experience to identify seven common attitude traps that moms tend to fall into that keep them from truly enjoying their roles as care providers. The traps include the “Me Mom Trap,” the “Martyr Mom Trap,” the “Mirror Mom Trap,” and a few others. The author uses wisdom gleaned from real life experiences and a gentle humor to navigate through these pitfalls and offers advice and encouragement to help other moms realize their own significance.
After 10 years of parenting I feel like I've read just about everything there is to read about raising children. This book presented lots of tried and true wisdom from a fresh perspective. I found myself reconsidering my own life and struggles, and looking at them with new eyes.
This "ex-martyr mom" says Good stuff, go read it.
Please Note: We received this book for review purposes. As always, our opinions are 100% our own
Hi friends!
I really really wanted to post yesterday, but I was so darned sick it wasn't even funny. And we all know that you can get contagious diseases from the internet. So I decided to spare you. You're welcome.
Anyway. Without further ado here are our winners!
Which was Julie Tompkins
Which was MarknTracy
Which was Michael Daniel Metzger
Yahoo! I am so thrilled to pass these books along to good homes. Can you winners please email me with your addresses at photosformax (at) yahoo.com, I'll be sure to get these in the mail asap!
We've learned a ton at Bible school this week. We've learned all the normal stuff about God and Heaven and all that stuff that was the same as last year. We learned the latest round of Bible school songs, which yes, are just as annoying as last years songs. Shh. Don't tell the music ladies I said that, they'll throw me in the pool.
Anyway.
We did learn a few unconventional lessons this year. Annie learned how to volunteer. Or snarf extra snacks from the kitchen, candy from the welcome center, chat with all the other volunteers, make a cute name tag, and spin in the office chairs. Lets be honest, that's why we all volunteer, right?
Louisa learned never to headbutt Mommy while wearing a viking helmet. Ouch.
And Max, well... he learned nuffin. It's a good thing he's so darned cute.
Oh, by the way! Today's the last day to enter to win one of my extra copies of the book Risk. Go here to check out the details!
We have a treat for you today! If you've been around this blog long enough, you know that we're big fans of the author Brock Eastman. We read his first few books HowlSage, and Taken. We were excited earlier this spring to be one of the first families selected to read his newest book Risk.
Risk picks up where Taken left off. The 4 Wikk children have landed on planet Evad and uncovered ruins from a vanished civilization. Their crazy adventure features several encounters with the villanous army of Ubel troopers, a handful of mysterious characters and passageways, and lots of fantastic futuristic gadgets as they seek to find their parents and stop the Ubel rebels from misusing long lost secrets.
I love how Mr. Eastman can consistantly produce exciting page turners that all four of my children love to read or have read to them. While published by a Christian publisher, both Taken and Risk are designed to be more seeker friendly for youngsters who do not have a firm faith foundation. Both have strong themes of loyalty and truth without being blatantly religious.
I love that.
You know what I love better than getting free books in the mail? Giving free books to YOU! I have - get this - 3 copies of Risk to give away. Can you believe it? So darned cool.
So in order to win a copy of this book leave me a message about who you think would like to read this book (it's ok to admit that you just want to read it yourself. I won't judge.) I'll pick 3 winners next friday.
Also, just for kicks - check out page 2 of the endorsements in the front of the book and see if you recognize anyone. I'll give you a hint. It's me. Yup. Friggen awesome, I know.
Please Note: We received this book for review purposes. As always, our opinions are 100% our own
In honor of Alex's 10th birthday I thought I'd write a little top ten list in his honor...
1. He puts up with an insane amount of crap from his little brother. I'm not quite sure how he tolerates it as well as he does, but we are all so entirely grateful that he takes everything in stride as well as he does.
2. He started rolling his eyes at me this year. Which I love. It's like a rite of passage for moms. You know that you've finally earned your stripes as a parent when your child rolls his eyes at you.
3. I love listening to the odd things he prays. He's consistantly thankful for the strangest things. Like that we don't live in Siberia. I imagine God enjoys hearing all the goofy things that little boys pray for.
4. I love the goofy goggle tan that he's got going on this summer. It makes me chuckle.
5. I love that the list of stuff that he wanted for his birthday wasn't a list of gifts he wanted to receive, but a list of fun things he wanted to do with friends and family.
6. I love that he didn't freak out when I didn't get his birthday blog post posted until he'd been 10 for nearly an entire week. Sorry dude.
7. Sometimes when he thinks no one is looking, he puts his arm around my waist or grabs my hand. But don't tell anyone or next time he's going to yank my arm off.
8. I love how fascinated he is with design, and how he uses inspiration from his every day environment to come up with fantastic design projects.
9. Little man has been waiting 10 years for his first street ride with is dad on the Harley. Where did they go for such a momentus ride? To the movie theatre to see the Avengers.
10. Mostly I just love him for who he is, and who he's becoming.
So I mentioned a few weeks ago that the girls are spending their summer with Grandma Peterson this year. It was hard for me to send them away for eight weeks, but every time I hear from them they are having the time of their lives and I'm so thrilled that they had the opportunity to have such an adventure.
The other day I shared a bit about the passing of Jory's grandfather. Because of his passing we ended up taking an unexpected trip out to the ranch for the funeral. As much as I wanted to go be supportive for those who were grieving, I really really just wanted to hold my babies.
Aren't they cute?
Trust me when I say I sucked up every last second with those two little cuddle bugs. They were so full of sunshine and sugar. They had 4 weeks of hugs saved up for me and I savored every last one of them.
Love those girlies. So glad Grandma gets to enjoy them for a bit longer.
We recently lost yet another loved one. Nearly three weeks after his 100th birthday, Jory's grandfather G.E Peterson went on to meet Jesus. That makes four deaths for us this year - Jory's father and grandfather, and two friends of the family. 4 fine men, three old and one young. All passing into Jesus's care.
4 deaths in 7 months is a lot to process. I think most people would agree that if anyone has a right to be overwhelmed, angry, bitter and disillusioned with life and with God it would be us. We should be to be stomping and screaming and asking why.
But we aren't.
With a pause, and a polite nod towards our grief, we pick ourselves up and move on. Ready to shoulder the load these men passed on to us. Knowing that God is good, whether we like His plan or not. Knowing that getting angry is sort of pointless because someone else's death isn't really about me or my family. We learned a long time ago that you can't take losses personally or you'll go crazy. So we don't. We take our losses in stride, knowing they happen for a reason.
So as with the others, we count this loss as a bump in the road. Our road is turning out to be a rather bumpy road indeed. But it's a beautiful road, with a lovely view. And I think this is where we'll stay.
Lets just say you aren't Michael Phelps. You are not a fast swimmer, nor are you a good technical swimmer. The fact that you didn't have access to a place to swim until 7 months ago might have something to do with that.
Yesterday you had your first swim meet. You didn't win the only heat you swam, you didn't even place in the top five. Even though you were up against children who were probably much younger than you. I'm not totally convinced you recognized that you were trying to beat those other kids to the other side of the pool.
But you know what? You swam all the way across the pool without stopping. And you did it in super deep water that you thought was very scary.
And for those two reasons I am so beyond psyched for you. I'm psyched that you learned something new, and put it to use. I love that you completed a task you never would have attempted if it hadn't been for the popsicle the coach had waiting for you. And I'm psyched that you faced your fears and didn't back down. Mostly, I'm psyched for you because that's just what moms are for.
That crazy screaming lady who's cheering her little heart out for the little kid that's limping slowly across the pool? Yep, that's totally me. To me, it matters not what place you finished, nor do I particularly care about whether your had good form or not. You didn't let your disadvantages stop you, and thats what counts.
So proud of you little dude.
love,
your biggest fan. Aka Mom.
So last month I was all about how far we've come with little Max.
This month I'd just like to eat my words.
With this little guy it's all about transition. I used to roll my eyes at people who were nervous about how well their child would transition through different activities and phases of life. But now I totally get it.
His sisters are gone (for now) and his schedule is wonky, which means that he's a hot mess. Without the girls around he can't figure out who to play with, so he's whining and following Alex and I around because he can't entertain himself. And his food insecurities are resurfacing, so he's constantly asking for more food, and then not eating the food we give him, unless it's junk food.
Not to mention that he's tired and cranky because we messed with his sleep schedule and he can't acclimate.
Yeah. He's been a fun kid to have around this month.
Insert eye roll here.
But it's been an incredible time of growth as well. With the introduction of organized sports he's learning how to take direction from someone other than mom, and step outside his comfort zone.
He's also been attending safety town or "fire engine class" as he calls it. Now that might not sound terribly impressive until you remember that the Russian police have a tendency towards corruption. For 7 years he was taught to fear the police. Now all of a sudden the police are the good guys. Talk about a major shift in perspective. But he's totally eating up every second of it. We're so thrilled that he's made the transition to the new mentality seemlessly.
Tap tap...
Is this thing on? Is anyone even out there?
Its been a few days, and while I'd like to make some excuse about weird schedules or unruly children, the truth is I've been in a funk. A dry as sandpaper on a hot summer day funk. I sit down to write and I've got nothing. Not a darned thing to say. And I get to the point where I stop sitting down to write, because there is seriously nothing to say and I'm tired of looking at a blank page. Waiting for someone to turn on the spigot, so the words can fall like little droplets that bring life and beauty to everything they touch.
And I wonder. Have I done something wrong? Offended the One who brings the words? Why does my waterfall work only on some days and not on others? I showed up. I turned on the spigot. I did everything i needed to do, so why is nothing happening?
I go through the same phases with my faith. Don't you? Please say yes. Please tell me that I am not the only one who feels like I pick up the phone to start a conversation with Jesus and all I get is crickets.
Chirp chirp.
It's like nobody's home, but I know that can't be true. And all I can do is hit redial and hope the next time someone picks up the phone.
I think that's the point. Keep hitting that redial button. Keep trying. Perservere. Your creative juices will start flowing, and Jesus will pick up the phone. And you'll have an excuse to rejoice when it finally happens.
Doesn't water taste better when you're thirsty? Food taste better when you are hungry? If God never gave you the opportunity to be parched, then He'd never have the opportunity to fill you up, now would He?
So here I am, still waiting for something interesting to tell you, anticipating the flood that will surely come. What are you anticipating? Let's wait together. I'll bring the snacks, you bring the movie. It'll be like a party. Waiting is always more fun with friends.
Oh never mind.
I have a confession. I have a secret agenda that I don't really want to tell anyone about. I try not to let it control me, but it totally does. The things I do, the things I say. They all reflect my secret agenda I don't want you to know about.
So what is it? Draw attention to myself and make you like me.
Hey let me do this thing that I think is really Holy and I can claim is for Jesus, but really my poor little heart just wants to take all the credit for what I've just done. I may or may not go out of my way to announce to my accomplishment to the world, but you can bet I'm totally looking around to see if anyone noticed. And yes I will accept your feedback about how awesome I was.
I can see Jesus up in heaven rolling his eyes at me. Silly, silly girl.
So the question for today is what does life without this secret agenda look like? What does it really look like to live my life for Jesus, taking none of the credit for myself. Is it even possible to get through a single hour or one task with out the incredibly narcisitic desire to make what ever I'm doing be about me instead of Jesus.
I'm thinking not really. This sad, pathetic little heart of mine just isn't that good. But today I'm going to try. Sweet Jesus am I going to need some grace today.
My dear sweet daughters, Today I am sending you off to the great wide world. It feels a little like I'm sending you off to college. But you're 8. It's too early for that. You, my darlings are headed out to New Mexico to love on Grandma Peterson for an entire summer. She is a little lonely after Papa passed away, and you are getting picked on by a brother who doesn't really understand how to form positive relationships with females. So it's a win - win situation for everyone.
Everyone but me. You two are my little lights and you make my world so much brighter. You have no idea how much I like having you here with me all the time. I rather enjoy not having to sharing you with the rest of the world. But I also know that keeping you here when you're needed elsewhere is selfish. The rest of the world needs to see your little light too.
And so I send you, with extra batteries, to be a flashlight. To light up someone else's world. Not forever, but for now.
Go and spread your love and sunshine, your giggles and hugs, and the goofy songs that you make up to make people laugh. Go be your incredible little selves, but remember who you belong to.
You are mine, and I'm not sharing you forever. Not yet at least. Love and hugs, Mom
As I prepared my family to meet up with a friend the other day, I found myself making a list of all the faults I needed to point out.
- My son is the dirtiest child on the planet. I can't figure out how I have three relatively clean children and one scumball. Think Pigpen from Charlie Brown.
- My daughter's clothes don't really match.
- While we're on the topic, my other daughter has wild hair. Like crazed maniac hair.
Am I the only one who does this?
Like pointing out our faults to you makes our imperfections ok. As long as you know - that we know - we aren't perfect, life is good.
And don't sneer at me, friend of mine who shall remain nameless because she needed to point out all the places on her carpet the dog chewed on last time I came over.
Like we care. We came to your house to see you. Not your carpet. Ok, it is kind of funny. But if you hadn't pointed it out we wouldn't have noticed.
My friends invited us to the park to play together. Not for a fashion parade. It's ok to wear not matching dirty clothes to play in the dirt. Isn't it?
Why do we do this? Is it our insecurity? Fear of others judgement?
I'd just like to take this moment to say that I am not judging you. I don't care if your house is cluttered, or if your kid didn't brush his teeth. In fact I like knowing that your life isn't perfect either.
I don't want you to feel insecure about all your faults. I want you to be real. Let's make a deal, k? I'll stop pointing out whats wrong with me, if you stop pointing out what's wrong with you. We'll both know - that the other person knows - that no one is judging anyone.
